carnival of idiots, lorelai

[spencer]

Spencer was a man of many qualities, but as someone once told him you lose a quality to a vice every day. His insomnia had stolen the one quality he held above all others – the quality that he’d turned into a business, his creativity. For the last two weeks he’d been having what could only be described as a creative block. He couldn’t design, he couldn’t film and he still couldn’t sleep. So, what better to inspire him than a pretty girl and Lorelai was a pretty girl, beautiful really. He sat at a table in the coffee house café and watched the carnival of idiots put on a show as they walked by, uh oh he was starting to sound cynical he’d better take a Prozac and put a smile on his face. Yeah, there was no way that anti-depressants would make his life any easier when a potential side effect was insomnia and though his doctor had been trying to convince him that they could help not only his depression, but also his insomnia, Spence wasn’t going to buy it.

Basically he’d decided that being a seven on the depression scale was as low as he’d ever go. Having an impeccable lust for life and being happy are two very different things in Spencer’s world. He drummed his fingers against his coffee cup, yeah, brilliant idea right, can’t sleep? drink coffee. At least it helped with the dragging feeling he got after staying up for fourty-eight hours straight. Beside his coffee cup lay a copy of Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre. He’d read parts of it to Milly when she was sick a couple years back, she had a way of writing that inspired Spence. However, it lay in vane – unread. He couldn’t read right now, he couldn’t do anything but sit, stare and make fun of the innocent by standers. A common game he played was picking a person and making up a story about their life or where they were going. His deep brown eyes fell on the beat up old book, it had first belonged to his grandmother who was a rather large fan of the Bronte sisters and of course Ms. Jane Austin.

Gammy was the one that had Spence reading the classics at seven years old, she used to say “langue is going to hell today, people need to hold on to the poetry of words” she was a real classy lady, the only thing that matched her strength was her heart. That love she had, it could break someone’s heart. What would really do it was when that love was gone, he never talked about his Gran with his siblings, he didn’t even know if they were as close with her as he was, but now he was wishing he did know. Insomnia – world’s best depressant, makes everything feel like as if it’s already over. Like there isn’t a thing you can do to fix regrets. Then he looked to the door and saw something that could put a smile on the face of a man with ice in his veins – Lorelai Andrews, prettiest girl he’d ever seen. She wasn’t the kind of girl you only spend a night with. No, there was something special about this one. Gran would say don’t screw it up and then she’d give him an I told you so face, she always said there was going to be a girl like Lore out there.

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai had been awoken that morning by a phone call that managed to leave her with mixed feelings.

Growing up, she had not only been close to Elliot, but his entire family as well. Ellie, his parents, and his younger sister managed to provide her with a second home- a place to go when she had a spat with her own parents or brother. As she grew older, she would sometimes spend time there even when he wasn’t home, passing the time until his arrival by playing games with his sister, or sitting up in his room. She had been given her own key. When they progressed from a friendship to a relationship, the offer for a second home, a second family had merely been widened. During the break-up, Lore would continue to meet his sister for coffee on occasion, see her at school, and exchange text messages with his parents. It was her way of keeping ties. Letting him know that she was still there, and in a position to find out how Elliot was doing. It wasn’t ideal, but it was there.

After his death, however, her relationship with his family dwindled. Just as she blamed herself, she assumed that his family also believed that she was partially at fault for the suicide. They were angry that she never told them what she knew about Elliot’s involvement with drugs, and bitter that she didn’t try harder to remain in his life when he needed her most. She didn’t need to hear it, although she may have deserved it; communication was just too hurtful at that point. She did her best to escape his memory (although the guilt followed her, and she never did get around to throwing away the suicide note he’d sent to her personally- it remains in the drawer of her nightstand) and left town soon after. They just hadn’t spoken since.

But somehow, Elliot’s sister had gotten hold of her phone number and given her a call around nine that morning. While the first couple of minutes were rather awkward, they seemed to fall back into a comfortable conversation after awhile. They spoke of their current lives, family, old friends left behind in Minnesota. A brief serious conversation was struck up about Elliot, although neither were eager to linger on the subject. They reminisced about various memories and discussed current events. That three hour conversation left Lorelai feeling relatively… Well, mixed.

Thoughts she had managed to put in the back of her brain had been dug up, and in the next two hours spent getting ready for her meeting with Spencer, her mind was reeling. She was glad to hear from her, sure. But old wounds had been reopened, memories surfacing. And that nagging feeling that she still hadn’t gotten tested for the same disease that drove Elliot to suicide was beginning to eat at her.

And then there was the reminder that she didn’t believe it mattered if she got tested. Who was there to care? If she were to die at the hands of HIV, who would be around? No one in particular came to mind. Once again, she pushed the thoughts away. If she had it, she had it. It didn’t matter.

These feelings probably weren’t very healthy, but Lorelai refused to open up to anyone. Thus far, no one in Capeside knew about Elliot’s death. Occasionally, when certain things were mentioned, she’d recall memories aloud including the boy, but always spoke of him as though he were merely back in St. Paul, sitting around in his boxers on the couch watching Family Ties (which he did quite often). No one here knew of the past. No one here knew that she could have a life-threatening disease. Because, as far as she was concerned, no one here cared. It was something she’d just come to figure on her own, and she gave it no thought. No use in angsting. This was precisely why she left Minnesota- to start over.

She had more acquaintances than anything in Capeside, although she cherished the few friends she did have. There were the employees at the coffee shop, as well as a couple of regulars, and a few other people here and there. She wasn’t sure if she was close enough to anyone to be in a position to open up to them, anyways. She was a person who normally kept her issues to herself, preferring to help others instead of burdening them with her problems. It was just something she’d always done- more of a habit than anything to focus on others, no matter her own personal state. If she wasn’t feeling up to par, she spent time back in her apartment, laying in bed. That was that.

Lorelai was quite glad that she had previously made plans with one of her dearest Capeside friends. Spencer was a new addition to her life and she wasn’t always sure where they stood, but she knew she enjoyed having him around. He was a breath of fresh air. He was great to spend time with, gave great hugs, and had a rather infectious smile- if there was someone she’d want to see to ignore feeling so down, it was him. She needed a good pick-me-up.

Dressing in a casual dress and pulling her hair back into a half pony-tail (leaving the rest curly- she hadn’t felt up to putting in a huge amount of effort in her appearance), she left her apartment and set off towards the coffee shop in which she spent the majority of her time. Lorelai didn’t mind going there when she wasn’t working, not really. She felt comfortable in the shop, and it was just a couple of blocks from her place of residence, which was rather convenient. When she arrived, she slipped into the shop, pressing her lips together as she looked around to see if her friend had arrived. When she set sights on him, the corners of her lips quipped upwards into a smile and she made her way to the table, immediately drawing up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her chin planting on his shoulder for her usual brief greeting hug.

”Hi,” Lore piped up as she pulled back, waving at one of her co-workers behind the counter, who began to prepare her usual order. She took the vacant seat opposite of Spencer, a smile still playing along her lips. She wasn’t quite as full of life as she normally was, but she just figured she needed a few minutes of human interaction to get back up to speed. ”How are you?”

[spencer]

No, he wasn’t the type to get butterflies in his tummy, but whenever he met up with Lore he found that his stomach went up into his throat. Like that feeling you get when an airplane drops down from a higher altitude, which he could only deem as some sort of affectionate bodily reaction to her, considering he wasn’t on a plane. She was a special girl there was no denying that or the fact that even in the short time of knowing her she was already very special and dear to Spencer. One who knew him would know that was a very special thing in and of itself, considering his distrusting nature.

The simple fact that he could imagine having her in his life for more than a night was a pure miracle. Funny, if anyone treated his sisters the way he treated some girls he’d flip and try to kill them, but for some reason that didn’t enter into his mind when he was actually doing something dick-ish. Conveniently his testosterone took over in times when his conscience would kill his fun or rather getting his mind off of other things. Spencer should really try fucking someone he cared about sometime, but he’d never really gotten around to trying it out. It was just an opportunity that never presented itself to him, he’d hated all his girlfriends and tended to sleep with people he couldn’t imagine spending much time with. Valley girls and the like, you know the types that don’t have a brain. All he had to say was he was in the film business and they’d fall into bed with him without asking any more questions. He never lied and he never had to.

One might be quick to judge Spence as a skeeze, but that wasn’t really the case. Being a man whore didn’t automatically make him a skeeze. Just emotionally deficient in some ways, he couldn’t be in a real relationship because the idea of needing someone was actually quite terrifying to him, so he used his “safe guards” as a way of keeping people at arms-length. Besides he didn’t feel he was much to give anyone with his many problems such as depression, insomnia and of course his past indiscretions with hurting himself in more ways than one. His group even said he should avoid relationships until he “loved himself”, because how can anyone love you if you don’t love yourself and constant self-hatred won’t make anyone’s life happier anyway right.

Hey at least he was a virgin at something, right? Sadly enough though it was a healthy relationship which he lacked experience in, most would likely expect that from him though. His mother had given up on ever seeing her oldest son marry and give her legitimate grandchildren. Maybe she was right to do so, but he preferred his grandmothers never ending optimism, he missed how she would tell him someday he’d have one of those perfect happy moments that he’d forget that he was ever sad, even just for a moment. That idea always seemed beautiful to him and his grandmother was always so sure it’d happen for him. Gammy was the only one who knew that Spencer was fighting a war within himself, the pursuit of happiness. Somehow she could always see that Spence had demons, he never even talked about it, but she knew, she could see and she tried to give him hope and for a long time she did, but she only delayed what he felt was inevitable.

After she died he knew what he was going to do and when he woke up and realized he’d failed he felt like he could feel her shaking her head at him, telling him it wasn’t his choice whether he died or not.

Spence stood up and smiled at Lore with the smile that only she saw. Yes, Lorelai had her own smile from Spencer, it wasn’t intentional, it was just one of those things, some people got their own smile and some people didn’t. Plain and simple, course his Grandmother would try to say that, that meant he was in love with her, because only people you love get their own smile and he’d fight her on it like he always did, but love her for trying. He allowed Lorelai to hug him as he hugged her back, he knew she was one of those types that gave hugs away like most people gave glances and he of all people knew experience always enhances a skill. Spencer gave her a tight squeeze before she let him go and smiled “hi” he said tugging at his vest. Spencer’s way of dressing was always casual with business like staples, right now he wore a black Johnny Cash tee shirt with a brown vest buttoned over it and a pair of brown slacks with a subtle plaid pattern on them, topping it all off with a pair of beat up old black converse kicks.

When she asked him how he was he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his own condition “tired” he breathed and laughed at the same time “how ‘bout you?” he slid back into his seat. Even with his exhausted condition he couldn’t help but smile in Lorelai’s presence, maybe it was that she seemed like something out of an old Disney film or something. She always looked like birds would sit on her hands while she sang. She seemed to have a rejuvenating effect on him though. Special – she was special.

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai was quickly presented with her usual hot chocolate, with just a dollop of whipped cream on the top. She enjoyed coffee, to an extent, but it was always really rough on her system, she found. She wasn’t the most accustomed to stronger beverages. Alcohol in particular. She was fine with the occasional glass of wine, but just one spanned out over a couple of hours. She had only ever been drunk once, back in High School, when she was trying to keep up with Elliot’s transition. It had been terrible, and it was the first time she ever woke up in a bad condition without Ellie there to help her. It had been the first time she ever really began to accept the fact that she was losing him. The first time she realized he didn’t really care all that much about her anymore.

But no matter.

She preferred to stick with hot chocolate- a testament to her childhood, perhaps- and she knew that everyone she worked with knew it. She sometimes kept a stash of marshmallows in the back, but she was fairly certain not many of her co-workers knew where that was at, and she wasn’t about to get up to go get them. That would be silly. She could deal without them. Thanking the waitress and taking a sip, she leaned back and focused her attention on Spencer. Already, she could feel her mood lightening, even just the slightest bit.

Frowning a tad when he said he was tired, Lorelai cocked her head to the side and gave him a once-over. ”You look tired,” she said, relatively concerned. She was the kind of person who just didn’t understand why he’d go out with her instead of staying home and sleeping, if he were so bogged down by fatigue. She chose interaction with him over her health simply because she really liked spending time with him. But she was sure he didn’t necessarily think of her the same light, so she was slightly confused. ”I wish I could do something to make you not tired anymore. Like… I don’t know. Maybe if there was a way to make you not tired anymore, then you’d be happy. I like the idea of that.” She paused, fully aware that she was rambling a bit, but hardly giving herself the opportunity to care. ”But I think the only way that could happen would be you taking a nap, which… I’m pretty sure you can’t do here. It would be sort of uncomfortable, anyways. I mean, if you’re too tired, we could always go somewhere where you can take a nap. Just let me know.” While she was pretty damn quiet when in the company of people she wasn’t comfortable with, once she was able to be herself, she had the habit of talking. A lot. Sure, he’d be able to get her to shut up quite easily, but when left to keep going… Well. Keep going she did.

Lai offered him a half smile and a shrug of her shoulder when he rebounded the question to her. ”I’m… Alright,” she responded, tucking some hair behind her ear, ”Had a bit of an iffy morning, but… Nothing really seems so bad when I get to hang out with you, so it’s okay.” She sipped at her beverage, thinking about something that could take the subject off of her. ”How’s your film stuff going?” she asked suddenly, genuinely curious. She thought it was wonderful that he had such a passion, especially one that could be so… So beautiful. ”Working on anything in particular lately?”

[spencer]

Lorelai was good at the old pick me up, something about her just induced a warm and fuzzy feeling within even the grumpiest souls. Maybe it was the way she looked like she was plucked from another time and dropped into the twenty-first century. Drumming his hands against the side of his warm coffee cup he smiled gently, even though one could always count on Lorelai to talk, even if she sat quietly he’d still feel better. Course one wouldn’t get the full effect of Lorelai, her unchangeable optimism made her seem like a breath of fresh air in the sea of pessimistic assholes he always seemed to run into. Spencer was generally one of those pessimistic assholes, but he wasn’t the type that felt others needed to be put down because he thought the worst was always bound to happen. His own pessimism was likely just a side effect of his depression – the depression that was being stressed with every night of sleeplessness – the depression causing him to contemplate a second go at his biggest life failure.

Not for now though, he couldn’t have a thought like that in front of Lore. No, he’d feel like he was corrupting her without a single word – like he was corrupting her very essence of innocence.

What a horrible thought, he knew it was, but that couldn’t keep him from thinking about it when he was lying awake alone at night. Which was probably why he hadn’t allowed himself to be alone for the last couple of nights, instead he’d make sure he had company for a while. Lorelai was like an upper on crack though, she was the best company a depressed insomniac could ask for, the best distraction and she didn’t even have to take her clothes off. Spencer had, had girls that were simply friends before, but none of them had ever been as physically attractive to Spencer as Lorelai. He found her to be very beautiful, but it seemed a bit of a “no duh” type of thing to him. Most probably felt the same about her.

He nodded as she told him he looked tired “hopefully not in a terribly unattractive way” he smirked gently and slightly teasing. She looked genuinely concerned, he didn’t want her to worry about him though; wasted energy was all that was. Though, he couldn’t help but like her even more for it. He was sure she was wondering why he didn’t just cancel and stay home sleeping instead of hanging out with her. Lore didn’t seem to think as highly of herself as Spence thought of her. Even if he wouldn’t be lying awake in his apartment, he’d still be there with her instead of sleeping, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to cancel on her. A smile spread across his lips causing dimples to form in his cheeks as she rambled slightly. Some might find that annoying, but for a man of few words like Spence, he liked the noise and the sound of her voice.

He shook his head “it’s okay I wouldn’t be able to nap, I’ve got a bout of insomnia” he shrugged before continuing “happens sometimes” he lied, it happened more than sometimes, more than he’d like. He felt a pang of guilt lying to her, but most people treated insomnia like they treated mental illness, anyone who had it was someone to avoid. Lorelai didn’t strike him as the type to judge someone, but it was more a force of habit to lie about it. He furrowed his brows when she answered that she was just alright, but quickly his confusion turned into a slightly bashful smile “well thanks the feelings mutual” he smiled “that a bummer about your morning though, I’m sorry” he said before sipping his coffee. His eyes rose from his coffee when his job came up “oh, well yeah… it’s.. alright, um I’m working on a couple projects” he nodded, again a bit of a lie, he had projects started, but he hadn’t done anything in months. “I’m planning a video that shows how things that people consider ugly can be beautiful” he nodded, that was his style, the morbid and ugly and how they correlate to beauty.

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai laughed as he teased, shaking her head. ”No, no. You’re quite handsome, Spencer. Dashing, if I do say so myself!” And he was quite handsome, it was true. There was no denying that. He had a nice smile and a pair of arms that made her want to hug him forever. She never really thought of anyone in a romantic manner based on their appearance, although that was probably because she had never really thought of anyone in a romantic manner… Ever. It wasn’t that she was asexual. No, she was far from that. But she had it drilled into her mind that there was no one else out there in the world for her aside from Elliot. Plus, she didn’t really think anyone ever had feelings for her in that respect, either. She didn’t view herself as desirable. Average, perhaps, but not the kind of person guys normally chased after. Of course, she was fine with that. Sure, life was lonely sometimes. As much as she cuddled with her friends, Lore knew it would be nice to have someone to curl up next to at night. That had been one of her favorite parts of her relationship with Ellie. He would often climb up into her window at night and sleep with her, then quickly leaving in the morning before being discovered. She slept so much better when she had a warm body next to her. Of course, she hadn’t had that experience since she was a teenager, but she really did miss those nights.

A thought struck her and she frowned, glancing up at him curiously. ”Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” she asked, pressing her lips together. It didn’t make sense. He was a really good looking guy, as well as one of the sweetest she had ever met. She adored spending time with him. ”I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you have extra time to spend with me, because you’re my best friend and I look forward to hanging out with you, but I guess… It just surprises me, that’s all. Because you’re such an amazing person.” Chewing on her lip absentmindedly, she silently hoped that she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. It was a valid question. He seemed like he would have to fight the girls off with a stick.

Of course, she was blissfully unaware of his nightly escapades. She preferred not to believe someone like Spencer took part in those kinds of things. Not that she was ignorant to the fact that it went on, but… They weren’t for her. Definitely not.

Maybe that’s why she was alone.

It didn’t even matter.

Lorelai’s frown intensified when he mentioned insomnia. ”That’s no good,” she replied sadly, ”I’m sorry. I wish I could do something to help you sleep.” She knew first hand that not being able to sleep was a terrible thing. She ignored his sympathy about her morning and instead moved ahead to his latest film idea, the smile returning to her face. He always had such good ideas going. She adored the way he thought. ”That’s really nice,” she said with a nod, ”I think that everything and everyone is beautiful, in one way or another. I just wish more people saw it, you know. The beauty in things.”

She took a sip of her hot chocolate, still contemplating that when another thought slipped into her mind. An almost playful smirk appeared as she cocked her head to the side, looking at Spencer. ”You know where I really wanna go?” she piped up, setting her mug back down before continuing. ”I really wanna go to the zoo. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” So much fun.

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[spencer]

Smiling he nodded a simple thank you nod before saying “you’re not so bad yourself Miss Andrews” “not so bad” was a serious understatement in his eyes, but he figured she knew he was understating, the girl probably had guys falling over themselves to get her number, not knowing all they really had to do was speak to her a couple times. That was what he’d done, he was gifted her number on a park bench what seemed like forever ago. Every time he’d been with her somewhere he’d catch some guys staring at her, but she never seemed to notice. Could she really be oblivious of her effect on the female preferring population? From what he knew of Lorelai it was quite possible, but the obviousness of others instant affections for her gorgeous dark chocolate hair and blinding blue bush baby eyes, the possibility of her being unaware of it was absurd.

A laugh escaped past his tired lips “well the answer for that is quite simple…” he said pausing to sip from his coffee and looked up through his eyelashes to finish his thought “commitment issues” gotta love an honest man, most wouldn’t be so blunt or even in touch with their own flaws, but Spencer knew there was no denying the fact, he sabotaged every “sort of” relationship he had by dating someone he couldn’t stand for any length of time. Spencer knew if he did ever end up falling for someone he’d fall hard, he was a passionate person and if he did ever engage in a relationship he knew he’d end up healthily enamored about that person. The thought of then losing that person was what scared him, he’d never been able to quite pin down why he thought someone he loved would leave him. His parents were still together so he’d never really seen a relationship fall apart first hand or anything.

Maybe it was that he couldn’t imagine someone who would want to stick around through all of his many issues, the sleepless nights, the depression , the refusal to take medication for said depression, his passion. What many would consider a strength and a blessing, Spencer found the people he’d been with were never happy that he’d rather spend his time making a film that out there earning real big bucks. He made enough to support himself, but he wasn’t ready to put his camera away and go into graphic design full time, that was where he could be very well off. Companies loved his work and were constantly asking him to do things for them, but Spencer needed to keep his time open so he could express that damn passion. Not that he’d been able to design anything worth wile lately anyway.

Funny enough his unintentional strategy had caused businesses to consider him to be the elite and therefore offer him more cash for less work. It hadn’t been intentional, but there it was… his bank account painted green.

He smiled before saying “ what do I need a girlfriend for? I’ve got you and unlike any girlfriend I’d have I actually like spending time with you” he winked as he ended his thought. Spencer had the blessing and the curse of knowing himself and he knew without a shadow of a doubt if he had a girlfriend he’d end up spending more time with Lore than anything else. He sipped his coffee again and he nodded “yeah I know you do” he smiled at her, she was a genuinely sweet person, she wasn’t the type to lie just to be courteous or at least she didn’t seem to be the type.

He smiled as she expressed her thought, she was like a sweetheart wrapped in a hard candy shell. His eyes fell to his coffee cup; he seemed to get embarrassed when people complemented his work or his soon to be work. He shook his head “no” when she asked him a question, then when she continued a smile spread across his lips “the zoo? I haven’t been to the zoo since I was ten” he smiled at her, he used to love the zoo, the last time he went was his tenth birthday with his grandmother, then she got sick and they never went together again. He could fathom going again with Lorelai though, Gammy would approve after all “i could go for that” he nodded smiling.

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai let out an appreciative giggle when he reciprocated the compliment. ”Why thank you,” she responded with a playful smile. She did not think of herself as highly as he seemed to think of her. While she didn’t really believe that she was repulsive, per se, if anyone were to tell her that she had any sort of power over those of the opposite sex, she’d have to tell them that they were crazy. Never once did she notice anyone ‘falling over her’ or anything of the such. It was probably good that she didn’t, anyways, but she never really believed that anyone would really think of her that way. She hadn’t been out on a date since Elliot. Actually, she hadn’t been asked out since then, anyways. She was pretty sure Ellie had been her one chance at anything- she never had romantic thoughts about anyone, for the most part, because she figured that there was just no point. He had been it, and it was partially her fault that he was gone. Lorelai was a bit of a hypocrite. She believed that everyone but her deserved a second chance, whole-heartedly. She wouldn’t be able to explain her logic as to why she was an exception, but she supposed that it was just the guilt that was constantly weighing heavily in on her that explained it. The guilt was just so immense that she wasn’t even sure how to move past it. The dread. The sadness. Perhaps she believed everyone else had a second chance because she couldn’t fathom anyone else feeling as… As utterly useless and terrible as she did every single day. Sure, she had learned to cover it up, for the most part. But Lai didn’t want to think about the chance that anyone else felt this way. She wouldn’t want to wish it upon anyone, and she didn’t think that anyone could do anything to deserve it. So while she might not deserve another chance, they did. They always did. But she couldn’t say that out loud. She could only be reassuring.

Frowning and cocking her head to the side as Spencer admitted he had commitment issues, she took a moment and tried to fathom that. His next set of words, however, made her grin. At least he liked spending time with her. ”But the point of having a girlfriend is to like spending time with them,” she chuckled, ”So you probably shouldn’t date anyone you don’t like.” Playfully, she scrunched her nose, before an idea struck her. ”Oh! I know something you won’t have an issue committing to. I hope. Hold on.” She shot up from the table and raced into the back room of the shop (because let’s face it- she worked there long enough to be able to do it whenever she wanted, whether on duty or not) and returned a couple of minutes later with two rubber bands. Lore dragged her chair over so it was right next to Spencer’s, then sat down cross-legged and held out one to him. ”Spencer Honeycutt, will you be in a cuddlelationship with me?” Although she had tried to keep a straight face, at that moment she broke out into a wide, innocent grin. ”It’s easy. All you do is you take this rubber band bracelet and you keep it on your wrist at all times. And whenever you look at it, you just know that anytime, anywhere you need a cuddle or a hug or someone to talk to, you can give me a call and tell me and I’ll be like ‘okay’ and then come right over.” Her grin widened a little. ”I’d buy you a real bracelet but it would be hard to resist matching bracelets with bunnies on them. I’ve always wanted a bunny named Thumper but I’ve never gotten to have one. Anyways, I figure you wouldn’t wear a bracelet with a bunny on it so this is the next best thing until I come up with another plan. What do you say?” She shifted a little bit in her seat, perhaps a tad too eager about this. ”I should warn you that I’m in a cuddlelationship with my friend Aiden, as well, but don’t worry. He doesn’t have a bracelet. You are still unique.”

When he agreed to go to the zoo, Lorelai straightened up, beaming. ”Can we go now?” she asked, ”I really want to go see the koala bears.”

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[spencer]

Spencer had issues with honesty, his issues being that he was too honest by most people’s standards. He had trouble with little white lies even. He’d tell people if he had commitment issues right off the bat if they asked and yet still he’d ended up in relationships with girls that though they could “change his mind”. The simple fact was he was too stubborn to allow them to even try. After all he had been completely honest with them going into a relationship. One girl he’d even told at the beginning that they wouldn’t end it marriage for the simple reason that he couldn’t see himself with her. A month or so later she was asking him why he wouldn’t talk marriage with her, he said partly due to the fact it was never going to happen and partly because her voice gave him the same reaction and nails on a chalk board. Honesty had more than not, gotten him in trouble all his life.

Which was why when people said things like “the truth will set you free” he always had to laugh, what it will really do is turn you into a “fix it project” for most people. “You don’t want to be with anyone because you haven’t tried it” he’d heard those words way too many times. Spence couldn’t figure it out, why did it matter if he was married by the time her was thirty or even forty, he wasn’t so great that some woman couldn’t live without him. In all actuality Spencer believed women were often stronger without a man, they knew their own minds, but bring a man into the equation and he’d watched too many strong women crumble under the fear of losing him. Maybe that was it – he didn’t want to be the demise of someone’s strength. An admirable goal, but also an ill-informed goal.

He didn’t know that not all women lose their minds when a man came into the equation. All his life Spencer couldn’t get the idea that love made you weak out of his head. Some people, people he really respected and listened to – like his grandmother and parents – had tried to subscribe him to the belief that love doesn’t make you weak, but actually made you stronger and yet, he’d never seen it do anything but destroy. Maybe he wasn’t looking hard enough, but there it was and if he wasn’t looking hard enough when he desperately wanted it to be true, he’d never see it. Plain and simple. Spencer had always been a tangible believer, he needed to hold something in his hand to know it was real. That may have been the reason he was never very good at life, because so much of it isn’t tangible, life itself isn’t something to can see or touch. One can say a beating heart is being able to hear and feel life, but death is not the loss of a heartbeat, it’s the loss of life. Spencer was a highly logical person and he needed proof to believe something was real. It was probably a good thing the man hadn’t taken phycology in college or he’d be a complete wreak.

Shrugging in reply to Lore’s definition of a girlfriend “I’ve never liked any of mine” he said in a thrown away kind of tone, it was the truth and it wasn’t a huge deal to him, nor would he expect her to react in a surprised manor. He thought it was a normal thing, guys complained about their girlfriends constantly; they wouldn’t have much to talk about if they didn’t have a lady friend in their life. At least that was the impression he got from most that he ran into with girlfriends or boyfriends. Girls were the same way too, once you “had someone” your life apparently revolved around how much that person annoyed you. He would much rather have his life revolve around something he enjoyed, something he couldn’t live without and he’d never met another person, male or female that he couldn’t live without. Sipping his coffee he couldn’t help but smile at the girls antics, she was proposing to him. Thankfully it had nothing to do with marriage, if something like that had occurred with a girl he wasn’t even dating he wouldn’t be able to face Lore ever again. Somehow though he felt that she may have been as much of a commitment phobe as he was, she just didn’t know it.

Amusement washed over his features as she went into babbling about rabbits and wanting one, but never getting one, adding that she’d picked the name Thumper for this rabbit she didn’t have cause him to snicker at her. Sticking out his bare wrist for her to place the band around he nodded “agreed” he nodded. He could guess this wasn’t like his previous cuddle ships of a different name, Lorelai was too innocent to have any sexual implications cloaked in her comment. No, she meant just what she said and Spencer was perfectly fine keeping his very first and only female friend without added benefits. Even if he did find her innocence tempting, he wasn’t one for corruption.

Raising his eye brows he guzzled down the rest of his coffee and stood up “well we can’t keep the koala’s waiting” his voice was rife with sarcasm and feigned impatience. He wasn’t making fun of her… okay he was, but not maliciously, he was more teasing her. Changing his voices inflection to a more serious tone he looked at her through his brows “if you get to see the koala’s, I get to see the elephants… deal?” he said with a small smirk tugging at his lips. They were probably his favorite animals ever.

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai really had no doubt in her mind that Spencer would find someone of the female persuasion that he wanted to actually spend time with. She didn’t count- he didn’t like her romantically. But there definitely was someone out there for him. He was a spectacular guy- she didn’t just call anyone her best friend, after all (okay, she sort of did, but she meant it a lot more with Spencer). He was passionate, creative, funny, intelligent, and sweet- what more could a girl ask for? Of course, it would take a really great person to win Spencer over, she was sure. But Lore was pretty confident in thinking that he deserved the best, and one day, ‘the best’ would climb right out of the woodwork and win him over. She would deal with competing for his attention when that day came. But for now, she just wanted to make sure he was happy. He deserved that, and yet he didn’t always seem like he was. The thought upset her.

Grinning brightly when he agreed to the ‘cuddlelationship’, Lorelai slipped the bracelet onto his wrist and put the other one on her own. ”I’m really excited. This is going to be an awesome cuddlelationship. I promise you won’t regret this type of commitment.” It was lucky that she really had no other hidden intentions with that- she was a girl who was pretty content with just having someone to cuddle up next to. Being held had always been able to calm her down when she wasn’t feeling quite up to par. It wasn’t something she related to anything less than innocent, either. Sure, she had always liked to cuddle with Elliot after sexual intercourse, but even when they were just friends she’d hugged him constantly. It was just… Her comfort zone.

Mirroring his smirk, Lai gave a shrug of the shoulder. ”I think we can swing a trip to see the elephants,” she agreed, grabbing her purse and fishing out a few dollars to cover their beverages, tossing them onto the table. She was pretty sure she didn’t really have to pay, considering she did work there, but she liked to anyways, every now and again. Especially when she was with someone else. And she would be damned if she’d let Spencer pay. She didn’t like others paying for her and pampering her, although she had no problem covering them. She was a pretty big hypocrite in that respect, too, but she didn’t think it mattered because she was still helping, right?

”C’mon!” Lore urged, standing up and immediately racing out of the coffee shop, not bothering to stop and wait for Spencer until she hit the pavement. Only then did she pause and turn, grinning and holding her hand out for his. She was pretty sure that the zoo wasn’t really in Capeside, and she wasn’t sure where the nearest one was, so it would be a bit of a drive. Still, she was excited. The zoo was one of her favorite places in the world to go, no matter how childish it may seem.

ooc. i'm sorry this is short and shitty. |:

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[spencer]

It was probably a good thing that someone thought Spencer would find someone to change his mind about relationships. She’d have to believe for both of them, because as much as he would have liked to he didn’t believe in “the one” and he tended to hate when people brought up the subject or started whining about how they hadn’t found the one yet. He’d had a girlfriend that was obsessed with Sex and the City once and he couldn’t stand those supposedly strong empowered women always talking about their soul mates and how they wanted a man and whining when they didn’t have one acting like their life was over. It was a horrible representation of women and it floored him that as a man he could see that, but women all over the world loved it. Probably because it constantly made all the characters exceptions to the rule and every girl wanted to think they could be the exception too. It was a horrible show that sent horrible messages to women including that they needed to sleep around to be empowered which was the biggest load of shit ever.

Spencer was a strange man, he knew he didn’t quite treat women the way he thought they should be treated, but at the same time he felt he was somehow not at complete fault because the girls he went out with tended to deserve his lying and cheating ways, he had no respect for the women that he went out with, but he justified it by thinking that they didn’t demand it either so they didn’t deserve it. After all time and time again girls stuck around even when they knew he was with someone else. Lorelai, however was not that type of girl. Spencer knew if at any point, by some screwed up and ridiculous twist of fate the two were ever in a relationship she wouldn’t stand for the “open” relationship that he tended to conduct with past girlfriends. It’s not that Spencer thought the idea of dating Lorelai was absurd or anything, but he did feel the idea of her dating him to be absurd, he’d be lucky if she decided he was worth the dreaded role of boyfriend. He wasn’t though and he knew that and he was fine with it, he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to give her what she wanted in a man anyway.

He was… damaged.

As pathetically cliché as it sounded he thought to was too good for him and in all honesty she probably was, but something that Spencer never grasped in his long conversations with his Grandmother was that it didn’t matter if someone was better than you it mattered if the two of you together made each other better in some way. The person you were with shouldn’t be counted on to make you happy, nor should they expect that from you, instead the question was did you have something to give them to make them an even better person and vice versa. Love wasn’t about happiness in the end, love wasn’t about good or bad – Love has always been about elevation to a new outlook. Spencer had always missed that part in his Grandmother’s speeches about love.

He smiled as she mused about their cuddleship, he never been involved in one that didn’t involve some sort of sexual content. However, when it came to Lorelai, he could pretty much bet she meant simply that she now had free reign to snuggle up into that perfect notch for another person under his arm while they watched a movie or watched the koala bears eat… whatever it was koala’s ate. Spencer was not a koala expert after all. She was innocent for a twenty and some odd year old, she didn’t let the world color her view – she picked her own colors. “good” he answered to her agreeing to see the elephants.

Suddenly she was up, throwing money on the table and running for the door. She shouldn’t be paying for him, he wasn’t going to insist on paying for her because that just wasn’t what friends did, but he would insist on paying for his own beverage. After mulling over what he should do he simply decided he’ll pay for her ticket, it was only fair. He smiled and nodded at the barista at the counter and followed the same path that Lorelai had darted along only moments before. Finding her standing outside the shop was slightly surprising he’d half thought she’d still be running to the nearest zoo. “since you paid for my drink I’ll pick up the tab for your ticket” he said without an ounce of deliberation, it was a sentence not a question.

ooc:// no problem babes, mines a bit babbly as per usual, i'm just like ahhhh -tears hair out- so babbly lol

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai was glad that Spencer provided her with a distraction. She needed that in her life. Elliot had consumed her mind for so many years- even before his death, when she was worried about his drug habits. After his passing, it was like all she could do was think about all the ways she could have stopped it. All of the things she could?ve done to ensure that he?d be alright. He probably would have still hated her guts but at least she?d know he was safe. She had been selfish with her actions. Not telling someone about his drug problem right when it became a problem was a mistake she?d have to live with for the rest of her life. His parents could have gotten him clean and taken the necessary precautions to ensure that he wouldn?t hurt himself again. And then? Even if he hated her, maybe she?d still have her Ellie. Elliot had always been her rock, after all. He?d given her something to want, someone to hope for, someone to think about. And she?d always placed her faith in the expectation that one day, he?d come back to her. And he did. She just hadn?t counted on receiving his suicide note merely a week later. That had been one of the worst feelings in the world- after longing for his touch for so long, she got it back, only to lose it so soon after. Permanently.

She?d never be able to forgive herself for that, as a whole. She didn?t blame what happened on his choices, or his actions, or those who had dragged him down in the first place. All she could do was blame herself for not stopping it (or trying to) when she had the chance. She just hadn?t understood the intensity of it all. At first, it had merely been a few hits of marijuana, which she even joined in on. He?d managed to convince her that it was alright- that she wasn?t going to get hurt for smoking a few joints. She?d backed out when he started to do the harder substances, and she should have told someone before he got addicted. She could have saved his life.

Of course, she didn?t tell anyone this. Partially because she was afraid of what they would think of her, and partially because she didn?t want anyone to tell her it wasn?t her fault. She was used to being angry at herself- hating herself for how selfish and irresponsible she?d been.

It would be a lie to say that Lorelai hadn?t considered following Elliot?s example. If she had the guts, taking her own life would have been something she had coming for her. As it was now, she didn?t have anything to live for. She was alone. She often told herself that no one would care if she was gone- everyone could handle life without her. And it was true. Sure, she had friends, but Lore knew that all of them would?ve been fine if she left, no matter the circumstances. All had other people they liked more and the ability to move on. She wasn?t important. She hadn?t really been important to anyone since Ellie, and even that had gone down the drain. But she didn?t have the guts to attempt anything, and she tried to keep her mind off of things.

But although she wouldn?t admit it, in a way, Lorelai was sort of committing a slower form of suicide with the way she lived. She didn?t try and go on. If she had AIDS, she didn?t want to know, because she didn?t want to be treated for it. She hardly ate. She had a constant fear of not being able to make her rent, and if she couldn?t, she wouldn?t go ask anyone for help. She?d probably end up sleeping out in the streets before asking someone for a place to stay (and she probably would end up there soon, considering her landlord was discussing upping the rent again). She refused to take care of herself because she didn?t have anything or anyone to live for, no one to care. So why should she try?

Spencer, at least, provided a good distraction for her. While she was around him she at least felt, for a little while, that he cared. She had a friend in him, yes, but she knew he had a life far beyond her that she didn?t fit into. She was just thankful for the times that he did spend with her. She wasn?t pretty or ?sexy? like the girls she supposed he usually spent his time with. That was evident in the fact that they were just friends (which she didn?t mind- she liked having him as a friend). Nevertheless, he probably had a lot more fun with the others he had in his life so the fact that he was kind enough to give up an afternoon to go to a zoo with her just because she spontaneously got the urge was something she was grateful for. She made a mental note to try not to bother him for a few days so he wouldn?t get annoyed with having her around all the time.

Because really, she viewed herself as an annoyance most of the time. She was just? Used to assuming it.

When he joined her, Lorelai reached out and immediately took his hand, lacing their fingers through each other. She was allowed to do that now that they were in a cuddlelationship, right? It didn?t matter. She always did it anyways. ?That?s not fair. Zoo tickets are more expensive than drinks,? she frowned, looking up at him, ?I wanted to pay. And I can pay for my own ticket. It?s okay.? She was still a pretty big hypocrite when it came to things like that. Always wanting to do things for others, never wanting anything in return. ?Can you drive, though?? she asked, peering up at him. Her car was old, and shouldn?t be driven for long distances. And she didn?t have any gas in the car, which was another problem.

ooc. but i like your posts. <3 this one was all just sorts of angst, which i apologize for. again. my mood, blah. -shifty-

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[spencer]

Most of Spencer’s life had been spent in inward misery. His family never caught on to his depression, he’d always been good at hiding it. It seemed the Honeycutt’s had a knack for secrets, Spencer sometimes wondered how a family could be so utterly clueless about the struggles that each individual suffered. He never blamed his parents – they’d had a lot to worry about, with the birth of each child and with Milly’s illness, they were busy… too busy for him and he didn’t want to be a bother anyhow. Spencer never wanted to be a burden to anyone, he’d even made a pre-need before he attempted to end his life, his family wouldn’t even have to worry about planning him a funeral, he’d already done it for them. In all honesty Spencer and Lorelai seemed to have the same mind set; neither thought they had pivotal roles in their loved ones lives. He didn’t have many really close friends and he definitely didn’t think his family even knew him enough to miss him.

If he had known the effect going off to college would have on his relationship with not only his siblings, but his parents, he never would have left. Yet, at the same time the fact that everyone expected him to stay, but no one wanted to be the bad guy who asked him to give up his dreams maddened him a little. Why did they get to have any animosity toward him at all. They could have asked him and he would have to. Granted maybe after a couple years working at a Taco Bell he’d resent them, but would that be better than feeling like his entire family thought he was a selfish twat for leaving? Probably not, he didn’t feel they deserved to be mad at him, they didn’t ask him to stay, they didn’t say the needed him and from the looks of it none of them did anyhow. The biggest thing Lorelai and Spence had in common was neither of them believed anyone needed them and furthermore, neither believed they were of any use to anyone. They were a match made in low self-esteem heaven.

Being in Lorelai’s presence made him feel more… at peace with himself and the world. It was as if some of her non-jaded energy rubbed off on him. Funny enough Lore had experience some horrible things in her life, but to Spencer’s knowledge she was untouched by the cruelty life had to offer. When he spent time with her he got to see the world wasn’t so bad and he felt happier, because someone like Lorelai existed and that was indeed something to be happy about. There was something about these two that seemed to work quite well together. Including the way their fingers perfectly fit together. A smiled spread across his face when he felt Lore grab his hand, sometimes someone grabbing your hand could feel so similar to a hug. She was taking his mind away from his own problems for the day and for that he’d be grateful.

He frowned at her teasingly before shaking his head “nope, I’m paying either that or we have to go dutch on tickets and then I buy ice cream or some other kind of delicious snack and I’m sure no one wants that” his tone remained laced with humor and light hearted fun. With her second comment he nodded, he too had an old car – a nineteen sixty eight convertible Cadillac to be exact. However his car was in impeccable shape, his car was his baby and if he did one day become a father and treats his children like his car, well he’d be a damn good father. Reaching into his jacket pocket he retrieved his keys giving them a quick twirl around his finger, a strange and seemingly unbreakable habit of his. He pointed toward his blue caddie to let Lorelai know which direction they were heading “top down or up?” he asked with a grin, he loved being able to give that option, he loved his car to know end and everything she had to offer him and his occasional guest.

“I’ll have you know, this is a huge honor, not many people get to catch a ride in Luna here”, Spencer had named his car the moment he saw it, it was the middle of the night and the moon illuminated her like a sirens call and he decided right then and there she’d be named in honor of that ever burning light and thus she incurred the name Luna. The boy had a knack for romanticizing things. His tone was a teasing one, but in all honesty not many people got to ride in his car, he just didn’t trust some people with the privilege. Though, he knew Lorelai would be gentle, since she was gentle soul and had a tender touch. Some may think his love for his car was unhealthy, but he’d worked to buy it, spent months fixing it up making it as reliable as a 2012 car (if not more so), so with that in mind he had a very healthy appreciation for it. If nothing else justified it – it was the only thing he loved about himself. And that was an important thing for him to have.

ooc:// thank you, i'm perfectly fine with your angsty posts, spencer's rather angsty in general, so yeah lol

[lorelaiandrews]

Lorelai was very contradictory in… Well, a lot of ways. For starters, she was the type of person who would go out of her way to make sure she didn’t step on the toes of another person. She wasn’t a mind reader and she knew that, sometimes, people did things just to be nice- not because they wanted to. Now, she was, in a way, that kind of person. For instance, half of the argument that ruined her relationship with Elliot had been about her wanting to get him help. He wanted her to stay out of it, and although she desperately wanted to confide in someone, her Ellie had asked her not to. So she’d stayed out of it. It had ended up terribly, of course, and she deeply regretted it, but old habits die hard. She would go out of her way to do whatever she could to make a friend like Spencer happy, but if he wanted to do something for her, she’d fight it- even if it was just a small thing like being paid for. It wasn’t even something that could be attributed to the fact that she was a genuinely good person. It was merely a product of her anxiety that God forbid she might do something or accept an offer that could make someone upset with her.

And then there was the fact that she knew she wasn’t very good at reading people. She was often quite oblivious, in fact- Lore knew that there were some people who were really good at hiding their feelings. People who really didn’t want to do something, but offered to do it because it was polite, or the right thing to do. For some reason, the concept that sometimes people really did want to do something for her was just… Lost. She would much rather everyone put themselves first and deal with the rest on her own.

Not to say that she thought everyone was bad and didn’t want to do anything to help others out- on the contrary, Lorelai liked to think that everyone was a genuinely good person, possibly despite all rumors against them. She just thought that she wasn’t someone who deserved kindness of any sort. She knew that if she were to find herself in a bind, all she had to do was call Spencer up and ask him for his help, but she would feel so guilty doing it. She very rarely asked for help. She also refused to listen to reason. There were a lot of people out there who did worse things than what she did- in fact, some would argue that she didn’t do anything wrong. But everyone deserved a second chance except her. Try and change her mind, and she’d vehemently refuse. She was stubborn that way.

It was a contradiction, rather hypocritical, and probably very annoying to anyone who wasn’t her. But she personally couldn’t fathom any flaws in her view of the world.

Luckily enough, though, Spencer put up with it. And if anything, he was just as stubborn as she was and hey- she enjoyed ice cream just as much as the next person. Ice cream was also cheaper than tickets to the zoo, she supposed, and she knew that he was going to be spending money on her in some way throughout the course of the day no matter how hard she fought him on it. So, with an absentminded squeeze of his hand, she peered up at him, her eyes widening ever so slightly. ”I like ice cream,” she said simply, and although that provided enough of an answer on its own she continued, ”Dutch on tickets. I’ll take you up on that ice cream, though.” Breaking out into a smile, she followed him to his car, swinging their hands a little bit.

”Luna?” she inquired as he spoke of his car, although not because she wanted to know the origin of the name or anything. ”I love that you named your car. I like it when people name their stuff. Sometimes I’ll tell people that I named my instruments and they think I’m weird for it, but I like that you name your car.” Lore beamed up at him for a moment, releasing his hand when they reached the vehicle. ”I really like your car, too. I think we should go top down today.” Grinning up at him, she added, ”I’m glad you’re letting me ride in her, then. I feel special.”

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[spencer]

For someone who experienced such an abundance of horrible feelings, Spencer always found it difficult to deal with people who were “going through a hard time”. His Grandmother over the years that she graced his life had instilled him with a couple fool proof comforts. He’d never had to put them to use and thus hadn’t the foggiest if they were actually fool proof. Though, he found it hard to believe he could screw up offering someone a hot beverage and patting them on the back while cooing “there, there”, but he often surprised himself with his deficient comforting skills. After all, his grandmother only instilled her little pearls of knowledge to him because he constantly made things worse while trying to fix things. First and foremost she taught him not to try to fix anything, even if that was difficult for him as an older and protective brother. She always said you can’t control anything but yourself, even if you were the cause of the damage, what’s done is done, in any case and you can only do your best to stop the bleeding. Gammy was a wise woman with wise words that often inflicted chills on her young grandson.

Funny enough though even if he wanted a hug more than anything he wouldn’t accept one. He always felt he shouldn’t take something he couldn’t give in return. He’d never taken all of someone before, because he knew he couldn’t give all of himself. Even if the man wouldn’t admit it he was a control freak and playing fast a loose with something he can’t get back just wasn’t his style. Once you love someone they forever hold a part of you and the way he saw it if you loved too much you wouldn’t have anything left to give. Pessimistic thought, but Spencer was a pessimistic man. He didn’t try to be, but the boy needed some happy in his life and Lorelai seemed more than happy to try and fill that slot. A funny thing about depression, you don’t notice it as much when people you care about are around, it’s when you’re alone that it hits you like a ton of bricks.

The moment someone ceases to speak to you like a wave pulling you under water as you claw for the surface. Lying alone in bed staring at the ceiling as if it’s the vast white oblivion and suddenly you feel it and the thought comes into your mind and consumes you like a famished monster “there’s nothing here for me”. Spencer was an actor of epic proportions, while people had their eyes on him, he’d pretend to be just fine and as much as it pained him to feign happiness he knew it was better for those around him if he did. The moment, the very second there eyes left him he allowed the pain drenched in shame and embarrass to show on his face, even if their eyes only left him for a moment by the time they looked back he’d have a smile painted on, while he worried his plaster my crack and reveal the calamity hidden beneath. All these angsty thoughts were beginning to wear on him only to be cut off by Lorelai squeezing, her gentle reminder of her warm heart caused a smile to grace his lips.

“deal” he said finally and turned their interlocked hands into a handshake position and gave her hand a nice firm shake, before lacing his fingers back into hers. He’d always found it amusing how something as simple as two hands clasped together could make people feel so warm and safe. No grand gestures, just a simple offering of a hand. As far as he knew there weren’t any cultures that found hand holding to be some great honor, but to Spencer it was. When he allowed someone to hold his hand he eliminated all possibility that he’d be able to slip away or blatantly run from the present party. It was a commitment for him (most wouldn’t have guessed considering his behavior with Lore) that he didn’t take lightly. Another smile spread across his face as Lorelai began her typical loveable babbling, he nodded along with her words. “she gets me from point A to B” he said feigning a smooth tone, one could tell from the obvious care that Spencer put into his car that she was more than just transportation. Her freshly cleaned and shined exterior left no question that she was his baby.

He shook his head revisiting her comment about people thinking she’s weird for naming her instruments “There’s nothing weird about giving inanimate objects life, it’s how we express ourselves” that comment brought the thought of a documentary he saw a couple years back about men and their relationship with their sex dolls. Suddenly his comment didn’t sound as clean as he’d intended. “You should feel special, like a princess really.” he teased as he pulled the door open for her waving his hand toward the car like an old time chauffeur for a Hollywood actress. “top down it is” he said as a smirk spread across his lips.

ooc:// soooooooo angsty I’m sorry and I’m pretty sure it’s shite.