chelsea hope-artemis lee

[creed]

-- CHELSEA HOPE-ARTEMIS LEE !

-- NAME: Chelsea Hope-Artemis Lee
-- NICKNAMES: Chels, Chelsy
-- AGE & BIRTHDAY: nineteen; October 26, 1992
-- BIRTH PLACE: Capeside, Massachusetts
-- ORIENTATION: straight
-- OCCUPATION & SCHOOL GRADE: College Freshmen
-- PLAYED BY: Sierra Kusterbeck

-- PERSONALITY !

-- TOMBOY: Chelsea loves getting dirty and hanging out with the guys. She is always roughhousing or horse playing. Chels will be the first person to tell you that she is not a proper young lady. The nineteen year old, in her family's opinion, is too much of a tomboy to even care. She actually likes wearing dresses though, but you're more likely to see her in jeans. Chelsea has two older brothers and has always been this way, since she is incredible close to them.
-- ADHD: Chelsea has been diagnosed with Classic ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), which has both hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive symptoms. She has a habit of being random around friends, whether it's shouting out something that makes no sense, or bursting into laughter at nothing. The girl always has drawings that she used a sharpie to make on her arms and/or legs. Chels likes adventuring and exploring until her curiosity needs are fulfilled. She is always in motion, whether it's playing soccer, running to class, or dancing. The brunette can't sit still! In classes, if she hasn’t taken her medicine, she sits with her leg bouncing or doodling on her notes. If you lose her attention, she’ll zone out even if it’s just a blank wall.
-- SWEET: She listens to people though whenever they are depressed. Chelsea loves to help people who are in need, so she volunteers whenever she can. She is very protective of her friends and will back them in anything that they need her to. The artist is a bit naïve, and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt because, in her world, everyone deserves a chance.

-- LOVES: Batman, Black and White Movies, Painting, Taking Pictures, Playing Guitar and Piano, Country Music, Third Day, being with her siblings, Dancing, Disney Movies, Sharpies, Outdoors, Animals, Helping people
-- HATES: Superman, Paranormal Activity, Bluegrass Music, Twilight Saga (The Movies), Classical Music, Formal Occasions, High Heels, Girly Girls, Justin Beiber, Talk Shows, Her Family, Stereotypes

-- HISTORY !

Chelsea was born in Capeside, Massachusetts on October 26, 1992. She was born to Janet and Frankie Lee, a flight attendant and a company CEO, and was the youngest child and only girl. Ever since Chelsea was born, she was a trouble maker. Her parents blamed Chelsea's aunt, who was actually Chelsea's main caretaker since her mother was rarely home and her father was an alcoholic. In fact, Chelsea's aunt was the one who got Chelsea hooked on The Rocky Horror Picture Show and influenced her art. Fighting between her parents and her aunt ensued, causing Chelsea to become even worse. To escape her family, she went to the local theater to act, her sister's dance studio to dance, or hid in her school's art portable, where she befriend the teacher. The art teacher helped her make her first painting of a little flower. One night after getting in late from assisting at the theater, a twelve year old Chelsea was met by her father who was drunk and furious about her grades. He yelled at the girl before slapping her across the face, telling her to get her grades back up. Her aunt learned of this and, in fear of the safety of her niece, fought for custody of Chelsea.
Chelsea was 14 when her aunt won full custody of her in trial, after a 2 year custody battle between her aunt and parents. Her sophomore year of high school, she met Lucas Rowland, and befriended him not long after. They started dating and she fell in love with him. Unfortunately, he cheated on her not long after taking her virginity. Heartbroken and frustrated, she started cutting herself when she was sixteen. Seeing his little sister falling apart, her brother Jake stepped in and helped the girl turn to art to release her frustration rather than her wrists and a razor. He did so successfully, and kept an eye on her until she had significantly improved.
When she was eighteen, she met Xavier Evans, who was looking for his sister’s house. She helped him out, giving him directions and swapping phone numbers. They became close friends. She’s currently majoring in art at the university, minoring in education. In her dorm room, she still has various paintings of hers and a random drawing of her brother’s. Still, her favorite it that sloppy little flower she painted in first grade because it started her passion.

-- SAMPLE !

"I don't know what I've done or if I like what I've become. But something told me to run and, honey, you know me, it's all or none," a brown haired girl sang, crossing her legs as she focused more on hitting the notes on her black acoustic guitar than being on key with her singing. It was yet another insomniac night, with the twenty year old outside the bus alone at two in the morning. Her hair was tied back in a messy bun, several strands falling in front of her eyes and causing her to brush them away.

Her troublesome brown orange and white tabby cat named Cheshire sniffed at her before lying beside her leg. "I know Ches, I'm sleepy too," she sighed before giving him a gentle pat on the head. Her t-shirt was wrinkled from three hours of tossing and turning, which was hidden under her hoodie. The nightmares had returned again and she was to either suffer through them and sleep, or pace around the venue. Her tired hazel eyes focused on the chords she was playing and Chelsea kicked off her slippers. The nightmares altered between involving Carver leaving her for some blonde girl who looked almost like a model (not anyone she knew, or recognized), and losing her brother and sister.

She was exhausted and it was sketched across her face. Maybe she just needed to text her brother and vent everything to him. Or maybe she should just go to Tyler and curl up with her best friend. Her mind refocused on the song again, the words coming to her like breathing because she had listened to it at least eight times a day. "She will love you, more than I could. She who dares to stand where I stood..." She trailed off and froze as soon as she heard a noise. Cheshire hissed, startled by the odd sound. The cat calmed and meowed at the person before purring happily. Chelsea looked up and grinned. Of course it was him. She tried to disguise her exhaustion, setting the guitar aside.

"Well hola, Lucas."

-- OOC !

-- NAME OR ALIAS: Creed
-- AGE: 15
-- THREE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOU: hyper, nice, random
-- HOW YOU FOUND US: Ad 

[jesse]

• Capeside is in Massachusetts, not Michigan.
  
• Every sentence in this paragraph begins with the word "she" except for the one that begins with "Chelsea." It makes it sound like we're reading a list and not a description of how she is a tomboy. Why is she a tomboy or has she just always been that way? Does it change her personality or only her fashion choice? Explain it further.
  
• Again with the "she" and "Chelsea" for the ADHD paragraph. There's no variation. What type of ADHD does she have? There is a difference between being random and having ADHD. Symptoms and behavioral issues associated need researched.
  
• Every sentence, again, begins with "she." Why is she sweet? What is her reasoning? Does she do it for any particular reason? For all of your paragraphs you need more explanation. Fill her out.
  
• How is Chelsea the MAIN source of tension if her mother is absent and her father is an alcoholic?
  
• If her parents are so neglectful and dislike Chelsea why are they fighting to stay in her life? If they blamed her, rather than themselves, wouldn't they wash their hands of her?
  
• You put a lot of effort into listing all the bad things in her past and spend a lot of time doing so - but you blow through everything else. It's sloppily organized and I dunno what some of these things have to do with each other.
  

This is not an outright denial. We're giving you another chance if you would like it, so I'm just gonna call this pending.

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[creed]

I fixed it, I think

[evkav]

-- PENDING !

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I'm just putting my input into this as well because this app has a lot of potential.

• The personality paragraphs still need to be expanded upon a little, especially the 'sweet' paragraph. Try to aim for 100-200 words per paragraph. The other two are alright but they still read a bit like a list.
  
• I still don't quite understand why her parents would fight so strongly for custody of their daughter when they act so harshly towards her anyway.
  
• It would have been very hard for her to stop cutting herself and try to turn her frustrations elsewhere. I feel like you skim over this issue in her life a bit.
  
• I would like to see a few other happy aspects of her life. Her history seems to be focused too much on the negative and barely at all on the positive.

I'm sorry if I seem a little harsh but I really would like to see this character be the best that it can be. Once you've made these changes I'll be happy to look it over again.

[evkav]

It has been one week and none of the changes have been made. Sorry but I'm going to have to deny this. If you would like to give it another go feel free to register again with the same name. Thanks.

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