(marco!) the tide is high, but i'm holding on;

[mimiriter]

Cheating was against everything she believed in. If someone were to ask her, later down the line, why she was helping someone do the very thing that broke her heart for the very first time, she’d probably just tell them to shut the hell up because she’d have absolutely no decent excuse for it. It was disgusting. If his wife wasn’t enough for him, then he should leave her- she deserved more. She deserved a husband who was going to remain faithful and the fact that Mimi herself was responsible for all of it was… Well, sickening. But let’s face it. Marco was… Hard to resist, and while she had never intended to seduce him, he’d apparently found her charming enough to engage in an affair with. It was a constant battle between morals and insecurities with her- it was wrong, utterly wrong, and yet she felt wanted and even though it was only for the sex (or so she suspected), it was still being wanted. It was still ten times better than sitting there alone every day.

God, it was so screwed up. It needed to stop.

But it wouldn’t, because Mimi liked the sex and had the terrible habit of telling herself that it was justified. That she hadn’t purposefully initiated it overall. She’d just flirted a bit- she flirted with most guys who were hot and around her age. She hadn’t intended for him to go with it, and she certainly hadn’t intended on having sex with him in her classroom after school two and a half months ago, nor did had she intended on continuing this affair for as long as it had been going on. Really, she didn’t mean for it. Not at all.

And then there was the entire fact that it really was just for sex. As far as she knew, he had no emotional attachment to her. She supposed that made it easier, too- it would be worse for his wife if he were in love with her too, wouldn’t it? If she ever found out, they could fix their marriage by… Putting out more. That didn’t seem so bad. Yeah, that was another excuse she could add to her list of “reasons I’m not going to hell for doing this, even though I’m going to hell for that time I told Barack Obama he had really big ears”. It worked. For awhile.

Even though Mimi was dead set against the idea of encouraging him (but she probably did it anyways), it didn’t stop her from actually bothering to look decent whenever he was going to come over. Maybe it was just because the sex was better when she looked good. At least on her end. Then again, she always figured she looked good- if there was one thing she did have, it was a damn good appearance. God, what the hell.

The only thing about the situation that made any sense whatsoever was the fact that she was getting laid and she liked it. There. Issue simplified.

He was due at her apartment any minute now and she’d already gone through her usual routine. Straighten hair, throw on a little bit of makeup, toss on a dress that would be pretty easy to get off, drink three glasses of wine. Now, completely ready and out of things to do except think, she crashed down onto the couch and tucked her legs up underneath her, tilting her head back. It felt like forever (but really it was only ten minutes, and she was an impatient little shit) before she heard the obnoxious little “door bell” that alerted her that he was there. She hoisted herself onto her feet and absentmindedly buzzed him up, opening her front door a crack so that he could just walk in. Mimi moved back to the couch, sitting on the edge with a sigh.

[marc]

What are you doing? It was a question he had asked himself over and over since this whole mess had started. What was he doing? Marco had plenty of answers for that question. However they all seemed more like outrageous justifications than the cold, simple truth that he was cheating. Cheating. Sadly, he couldn’t say this was the first blemish on his record. While he had never cheated before, his wife had- with Marco. He had been the other man and well, look how well that had worked out for him? He had been in love with his wife though at the time, and it all felt so inevitable, that they needed to be together even if it meant betraying his close friend and band-mate. Mimi was... Mimi was.. What was Mimi? Was it a different story, or was it inevitability come to mess with him again? Marco knew what his wife would say to all of this. She’d assume the situation was the same, that he was in love with this other woman and that it was over between them. That, though, wasn’t exactly how Marco felt. Or he didn’t think. Oh hell, he didn’t know what he thought, or how he felt.

He was risking his marriage, his family over something he wasn’t even sure of. Marco had done some pretty dumb things in the past, but that was really taking the first place spot, and all the prizes (and consequences) that came with it. He knew this couldn’t go on forever without it all falling down around him. He was lucky, actually, that he had gotten this far without stepping in something smelly and disgusting. He should get out now, turn and run while he still could, while no one was going to get hurt and his marriage wasn’t going to fall apart because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. That was really good advice. The smartest thing he’d thought of all afternoon (the rest of his thoughts had been about running his hands up Mimi’s thighs and- Oh heaven help him..), and yet. There he was. Ignoring the very good advice he had offered himself. Offering his wife an alibi, kissing his daughter, and leaving his house. He was scum. That was all there was to it. And he told himself so, several times as he drove towards Mimi’s apartment. It didn’t matter how many times he repeated what a shit he was to himself, he couldn’t shake the image of Mimi’s perfect thighs from his mind. That was why he kept driving.

That was why he rung her buzzer. That was why he pushed the heavy glass open and made his way to the lift. That was why he walked the ever familiar path from the lift to her apartment. And that was why, or so he was going to keep telling himself, he let himself into her apartment. The idea that there was anything else to it was not one he could really entertain at that moment. It was easier if it was just sex. He just had to deal with one sort of guilt. Not the tidal wave of emotions that would come if he actually had any feelings for the French teacher. He needed this to just be about carnal urgers to keep from going crazy. Without a word he closed and locked the door behind him. It was strange how much stepping into this apartment felt like stepping into another world. A world where he wasn’t breaking any rules and he could just enjoy Mimi. In a few strides he was at the couch. Plucking her up, and into his arms so he could press his lips to hers in a rather passionate greeting. God dammit, it had been a long time since he was able to do that with his own wife. Coming home now was about being a family man, not passionately ravaging the woman of his dreams.

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[mimiriter]

Mimi’s eyes followed him as he wordlessly stepped through the door, with quite clear intent, and pulled her up into his arms for a kiss. Always straight to the point- and why the hell not? She was fairly certain that he didn’t give a shit how her day went as long as he was getting his fix. Because that was what a sex arrangement was, wasn’t it? No emotional attachments, no small talk, nothing. He came for sex and that’s what she let him in the door for. And it wasn’t like she minded; most of her relationships were very physical-based, and this wasn’t even a relationship. No, she was his fix so he could stick with his wife without going insane. And it worked for her as well, because not only were they not exclusive (meaning she could ultimately go and have sex with anyone she wanted) but there wasn’t really an opportunity for her to develop feelings. Because let’s face it- when they weren’t having sex, they were sneaking around talking about the next time they’d have sex, or just shamelessly flirting. It was a great, just the way it was, and it was to the point where she was almost relieved when he treated her as he did. It was just easier. She liked it when things were simple.

But God, he was gorgeous. And for some reason that made up for everything else wrong in their arrangement, because all she wanted to do was have sex with him all the damn time. When he picked her up, her legs immediately wrapped tight around his abdomen, her right arm hooking around his neck while her left hand raised up to run through his hair. If his wife ever found out about this, and set out to punch her in the face, she probably wouldn’t even put up a fight because this was wrong. Terrible, even. He was supposed to be dedicated to the same woman and it was hypocritical because if the roles were reversed, Mimi would have kicked his sorry ass out of the house the minute she found out. It was ridiculous. But for some reason, she was still completely into it and wanted nothing more than to have sex with this guy on every desk in the school and in every room of her apartment. And perhaps on an airplane, because she’d always wanted to attempt that, however she had a feeling that they wouldn’t be in a situation where they’d be on a plane together anytime soon.

Mimi broke the kiss, only when she was low on oxygen, and grinned seductively up at him. She straightened her torso to press her forehead against his, simultaneously running the hand that was in his hair down to his neck, massaging the spot casually. “Marco, Darling, you’re awfully damn hasty, did you know that?” She cocked an eyebrow, tugging slightly on a few stray hairs that were on the nape of his neck, “Of course you did- you always are. The least you could do is stick your hand between my legs at the same time, y’know, to clear up any confusion. I’d like that greeting, actually.” She couldn’t go that long without talking, of course. She bent her head, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses from his collar bone and up his neck, figuring that it would be best just to get right on with everything. By the time she reached his jaw, she skipped up to take his earlobe between her teeth, tugging gently on it before releasing it. “Then again,” she began, her voice low with seduction, “That would be all too easy, wouldn’t it? I think that, just maybe, I’d prefer to hear you beg for it first.”

[marc]

Passion, love and lust were three things that could get confused for each other. They were three things that fit together so delicately into puzzles of emotions, that sometimes it was impossible to work out where one feeling started, and the other one ended. Passion and love had always seemed to go hand in hand for Marco. Or at least, that was what he had thought. All his life he had assumed that his passion for things was because he loved those things. While he could be said to be fickle about his likes, but he’d never been known to be fickle about the things he was passionate about. So, what did it mean then, that he was so passionate about Mimi. Or well, having sex with Mimi? He could simply chalk it up to the fact that he loved having sex with her if he wanted, but even that had its own issues. He’d passed the phase in his life where meaningless sex was the great thing to do long ago in his life, and it wasn’t a mid-life crisis as far as he could tell. He’d never allowed himself to grow up enough to need one honestly, do that wasn’t part of the equation.

Regardless of how unexplainable his actions were, there he was, hands roaming her behind and upper thighs as he kissed her. Reasons didn’t matter when he was in the moment. He had enough time when he was alone with his thoughts to contemplate the meaning of his actions. And he did, in the dark hours of the night when he would lay next his sleeping wife, guilt making it impossible to sleep. If he was going to do this, and let the guilt into his life, he may as well enjoy it at the time. That was what he liked to think, but it never really worked like that. Thoughts of his wife, of what he was risking always made attempts to penetrate his world with Mimi. He was able to keep them at bay, push them aside, but not shut them out completely. It made him wonder sometimes why he bothered, but he couldn’t stop now, or wouldn’t. Sometimes it felt so good to be wrong, and that feeling was addicting. He also had to admit that the thrill of the taboo, the thrill of being caught had a lot to do with it. It was intoxicating sometimes, the sneaking around.

As she broke the kiss, Marco felt himself whine a little in protest. Mimi was right, he was rather hasty. Could you blame him though? She was just so freaking beautiful, and she could never get his fill of her. It wasn’t like they could just be together at any moment they wanted. It all had to be planned so carefully and it was usually days and days before they could see each other in private, so of course he was a little over-eager. He could hardly be blamed for that. In fact, it would do her a dis-service if he was just so blasé about it all. At least she would know she was special or desired in at least some sort of way. Smirking slightly, he wriggled his eyebrows. “You would like that, wouldn’t you. Maybe if you promised not to wear underwear..” He offered her a large smirk, his playful tone apparent. This was all just a part of their dynamics, the playful banter and flirting. It was part of the reason he had been attracted to her in the first place to be honest. “Oh baby,” he growled playfully, “you can make me beg any day.”

Between her suggestive comments, and the trail of hot kisses she was trailing up his jaw to his ear, it was hard for Marco to keep a straight mind. However her words had worried him a little. He knew she was joking; sure, but there was a lot of truth behind it too. He may as well just greet her by pulling down his pants, what with the time he wasted in getting down to business. That wasn’t the way to treat a lady. Setting her down on the ground gently, he still kept her close. Hands gripping her rear end gently. “You know, I was thinking, one night this week we should go to dinner in Boston. It’s not that far of a drive. I mean, if you’d like to?” He raised an eyebrow. God, why did he feel so nervous about asking Mimi to dinner. He’d been an old pro at asking girls on dates since he was a teenager, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t already in a physical relationship with her.

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[mimiriter]

Everything seemed to make sense the moment they started getting into it, as always. Their dynamic was too strong for Mimi to really comprehend the fact that what they were doing was so wrong, just because it was so damn natural at the same time. That was how it started, after all. Mostly, she acted the same towards each and every sort of young, non-obnoxious attainable good-looking man she came in contact with (which, despite how oddly specific that was, happened a lot). Flirtatious, walking that thin line between “hey, this is me legit seducing you” and “just kidding around, but if you’re serious, that’s cool too”. But again, that was usually reserved for men she thought/knew were single. She wasn’t a complete monster. She wasn’t out to steal anyone’s guy (and if she were, she would have spent a lot of time trying to convince Marco to leave his wife, but really, she didn’t want to waste her breath on it) or break anyone up. She was out for amusement and a good amount of sex. Actually, at first, she thought Marco was a single guy- she hadn’t actually bothered to look down and check his ring finger until after she’d flipped on the charm. But their playful banter just worked, and it was impossible to ignore, as was the sexual tension. So she told herself that joking around with him would be just that. A joke. And it would have stayed that way if their freaking chemistry wasn’t so strong.

But no matter how well they meshed, it didn’t matter because this was just sex, right? Only sex. The depth he had with his wife were much greater. While Mimi had gotten the impression that she wasn’t so satisfying in the bedroom department (hence why he was there), but he obviously loved her because she was the one he went home to at night. No, with Marco, it was all flirting and sex. That was all. And she had a list of things that she could tell herself to make sure that she was alright with the arrangement, too. There was the fact that most of her past relationships had been based in sex and sex alone- Gabriel, for instance, had told her that she was a ‘hobby’. That was what she was to Marco, too. A hobby. Maybe, on some twisted level, a friend as well. But he didn’t have any reason to care for her, or her feelings, or anything else as long as at the end of the day, he had something nice and cozy to stick Marco Jr. into. And she provided that. So it worked out, really, in the end.

Mimi smirked, pressing her forehead against his. “What lead you to believe that I’m wearing underwear now?” She quipped an eyebrow, then chuckled softly beneath her breath. “And yes, Darling, you are a bit of a begger. I’ve figured out how to make you weak, though, so it’s entirely understandable- but you should probably stay off of my bad side, because I really do know how to drive you sexually insane.” She grinned, pressing a slow kiss to his lips, and not breaking it until her feet made contact with the ground. Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him, her confusion becoming more and more evident as he spoke.

Dinner? In Boston? … What?

Immediately, her mind began to race with possible conclusions for this question. She decided not to look too far into it, however, and instead opted to keep her response light hearted. She smirked up at him again. “What, you want to take me out for dinner? It’s about time, considering you get to eat me out every time you come over.” She chuckled ever so slightly at her joke (because even if there was no one else around to find her witty, she found herself pretty ridiculously hilarious) and raised her hands so they settled on his biceps. “But no, really. Have you been reading those articles where it says that certain foods make a girl hornier? Because I don’t think that’s true. Eating food before sex really just slows you down. Trust me. When I was in France, I ate a lot of different foods with a lot of guys before screwin’ them and I gotta say, never once have I gotten off on eating food. Though, I liked the sex with the French guys. They were sort of gentle, most of them, but flexible at the same time. Next time I’m feeling sexually frustrated, I think I’ll take an impromptu trip to France. But no, really- there’s no need for you to bother with that if you’re just trying to get me horny. I once again bring you to the concept of you shoving your hand between my legs.”

A thought struck her then, and she paused, and for a second, she let her guard down just a tiny bit. “Unless… You’re already bored with our sex-based sex life. Then… If you want to try a change of scenery, we can.” But as quickly as it went down, she tossed it back up and saved herself by adding, “Then again, I’m not sure how you could possibly be bored. Not after that thing I did with my tongue last time.”

[marc]

While her answer was only seconds after his question, it seemed to take much longer. Time had slowed and Marco could feel his nerves building. Why! Why was he so nervous about this? It was so stupid he could hit himself really. It didn’t matter. It didn’t mean anything. It was just dinner. Who even cared? Well, it was obvious by the way he was so nervous that he cared but that was completely besides the point. He was rather good at pretending he didn’t care about things if he needed to, and for some reason he felt like this was one of those times- that he needed to hide how nervous he was feeling about all this. For some reason he thought that if she knew just how anxious he was, that it would change the dynamics and change things between them. He liked how things were, so change wasn’t exactly the best thing.


As she answered, his anxiety seemed to melt. However it was replaced by an equally annoying emotion he could identify as frustration. She wasn’t taking him seriously. Why the hell not? Okay, so maybe he had never given her cause to take a dinner offer seriously before, but he was serious now. Very serious. It was almost insulting that she was joking about it. However, she wasn’t to know how much he cared about this whole thing. Hell he wasn’t even sure he understood why he cared. So instead of getting angry he just pouted a little at her, letting the brunette still in his arms talk. At least she hadn’t laughed at the idea, and told him that no way in hell was she going to dinner with him. God, he couldn’t imagine how gutted he’d feel if she told him no. He’d take the joke over no any day.

The more she spoke, the more amused Marco became. A smirk tugged at his lips. He should really feel offended that she was talking about all the men she had done in France, but it oddly hadn’t dented his ego at all. He just found her train of thought funny. If he wanted to seduce her, food wouldn’t even be a thought. Marco had a lot up his sleeve, and besides, he considered himself to be ridiculously attractive, so what help did he need, really? When her rambling turned to questioning if he was getting bored, Marco shook his head, bemused. There was no way he was bored. Mimi was far from boring, and he doubted there would come a time that he would be bored with her. Rolling his eyes, Marco tugged her closer. “Will you just shut up and accept my offer?” He asked, before leaning into her and offering her a passionate kiss.

Picking her up once more, he moved his hands up and her thighs a few times, massaging her skin, before letting them come to a stop on her rear end. Kneading the flesh there, the man broke the kiss for a moment. “And for the record, that thing with the tongue is bloody well mind blowing.” Without waiting for a response, his mouth moved to her earlobe, giving it a slight nip before sucking on the flesh. “Now.” He said in between sucks. “Are you.” He licked the sensitive spot behind her ear, speaking in low tones. “Going.” He kissed a little lower down her neck. “To come to dinner with me?” He tugged on her earlobe again with his teeth. “Or will I have to find someone else to wine and dine?” Not that he ever would, but it was a fun threat.

[/size]

[mimiriter]

Mimi's mind was swimming and that sort of pissed her off because Marco was the one person she didn't want to think around. Her guilt was high about helping him with his immoral actions and she just wanted sex, right? Thinking would lead to undesired conclusions, probably including feelings past "lust" which would be obnoxious. She liked their arrangement, because it was purely physical and sex was much less complicated. But here he was, asking her to dinner, and he probably wasn't going to try and seduce her in the restaurant so it made no God damn sense and it was annoying. She liked having control over every aspect of her life. Not necessarily in a control-freak way, really; more accurately in a "doing what I want has less consequences if I'm in control" way. That included keeping all thoughts and emotions in check, which was pretty damn difficult to do when they were spending time together with their clothes on. What the hell was his angle, anyways?

She was distracted, momentarily, by the kiss and wrapped her legs around his waist again. Mimi groaned when he pulled back, huffing an annoyed sigh as he tried to seduce her into accepting. "Not fair," she whined, wiggling momentarily in his arms. It wasn't until he suggested finding someone else to "wine and dine" that she pulled back so his lips were away from her skin. She laughed, good-heartedly, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Marco, that's doubtful, Love. You practically get an erection every time we pass in the halls at work. I'm somehow doubting your ability to resist me." For the moment, she left it at that, wanting to satisfy other urges.

She kissed him again, figuring it would all be easier with her head clouded with his scent and taste. At the very least, it would buy her some time. She didn't know what to say. She wanted o say yes. She enjoyed food that she didn't have to prepare or buy herself and she liked Marco's company and there's something about the situation that boosted her ego. Probably the fact that he was choosing her over his wife- it was a sick form of an ego boost, and it would more than likely keep her up later that night. But what would it mean if she did agree? It would be venturing into unexplored territory. Her lips wandered down his neck, latching onto his collar bone. She sucked on the skin for a few seconds then pulled back (so she wouldn't leave a mark), leaning forward again, though stopping just short of touching his lips with her own.

She rested one hand on the side of his neck, thumb delicately stroking his chin. Her other hand went to run through his hair, pressing their foreheads together. "Okay. So say I agree to dinner in Boston. Hypothetically, although I will probably say yes. We'll... What? Go eat dinner, have sex in the back of your car and then go home? I don't... I mean, what would be the agenda, I guess." Mimi bit her lip, cocking an eyebrow. "Or maybe the better question is... Why me?" Because she supposed she was more curious about why he was asking her than anything else. As she waited for a response, she began to unbutton his shirt, concentrating on that.

[marc]

Marco frowned. He knew it was a joke, but something had stricken him about her words. Could he resist her? It wasn’t the way she had described it- he was perfectly capable of keeping control of all of his appendages at work (most of the time) but in the grand scheme of it all, could he really resist her? If push came to shove, would he be able to just walk away from this without looking back. Would he be able to pass her in the halls and act as though there had been nothing at all between them? Like she meant absolutely nothing to him? Did she mean absolutely nothing to him? Marco didn’t know the answer to those questions. That didn’t exactly matter though, as there was a more pressing question. Did he want to walk away from this? He wouldn’t, couldn’t answer that question. Each way he was screwed. Either he could easily just walk away and he’d risked his marriage for nothing, or he didn’t want to walk away and he was an even bigger scum bag than originally suspected. God. He never thought he could be such a complete cad, but he supposed he was wrong. Very wrong.

He let her kiss him, but honestly his mind was still considering things. Things it should have known better than to bring up. Thinking about what he was doing only served to complicate things, and Marco couldn’t afford the complication. How could he not think about it though? He asked himself over and over why he was doing this and none of his justifications were ever that satisfying. Could anything really justify it though? Probably not. At least not in a way that would make Marco completely okay with what was happening between them. Which he wasn’t. She could kiss him and suck on his collarbone all she wanted, and make him feel as good as anything, but to his very core he was not okay with any of this. He should end it. It was the right thing to end it. That, however, brought up the questions about if he could walk away from this. It was a vicious cycle, and one he didn’t know how to get out of. He had put himself there though. He had no one to blame. Not even Mimi. It was all him- all his fault. Yeah it took two to tango, but he got up and said yes to the dance. Mimi was single, she wasn’t the one cheating, he was.

What the hell? Marco raised an eyebrow at her. They weren’t teenagers. Wasn’t sex in the back of his car a little below them? He wasn’t sure why, but the fact that she was questioning her motives was pissing him off. Marco knew he had a short fuse, but he hadn’t shown that side of him to Mimi, and he didn’t think he really wanted to. That would change the dynamic completely, and turn something that was supposed to be enjoyable into angst. He’d never been great at reigning himself in though. Stepping away from her, he attempted to create some distance between them in the hopes that it would calm him a little. Running his fingers through his hair, Marco squeezed his eyes closed and let out a long sigh. “Why are you questioning my motives?” He snapped, failing in his mission to keep his voice even. “Is it so shocking that I want to do something nice instead of just treating you like a piece of meat? Or is that why you like me? Because I’m a dirt bag?” He knew she didn’t deserve his anger, but he really couldn’t stop himself.

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[mimiriter]

Rolling her eyes in an annoyed fashion, Mimi settled back on her feet as Marco grew irritated. It was bullshit; he was trying to make the situation infinitely more complicated than it had to be. Her previous emotions- hopeful, confused, flattered- were replaced by strong frustration, and she crashed down onto the couch for the duration of his rant. She was going to make sure that he knew how dumb she thought he was being for his reaction. Many would feel bad for doubting him- Mimi didn’t think she could feel bad for him (or herself, for that matter) even if she tried. He was cheating on his wife and there was no way he could justify that. Even she knew that her behavior was at an all time low- perhaps it was her subconscious’ attempt to repair her after so long, from when Noah cheated on her. Maybe she just needed to be the other woman for once. The one that someone risked everything for. It was low but the only thing she was cheating on herself was her sense of morality. But he was being fucking stupid at this point.

”Alright, Marco,” she began after a few moments of silence, folding her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows as if to say shut the fuck up. When she spoke, sarcasm laced every word. ”I’m gonna tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a rather sexy, young New Yorker named Mimi. She was fresh out of college and optimistic and Broadway was calling her name. At the same time, another rising star was cast in the same play as she was. His name was Noah and he was handsome and funny and charming and he found interest in her. They went out on a date and immediately became hooked on each other. Further down the line, they got engaged. Mimi was thrilled. She bought a dress and ordered the wedding cake and found the perfect location and she fooled herself into thinking that happiness was attainable. But surprise, guess who she found making out with a tall blonde? None other than Mr. Noah fiancé himself. End of engagement. End of act one.”

For a moment, she looked as if she could cry, but quickly feigned a look of indifference. She was spilling things that no one else in Capeside knew about her- it wasn’t a huge secret, because anyone who followed the lives of famous Broadway stars probably knew her name at one point and knew about the relationship. But Marco more than likely didn’t know and she was sharing that she did have feelings and that was one thing she tried not to do. Still, she continued, since she was already on a roll. ”Act two. A few years elapsed and Mimi had it all. A flourishing journalist at one of the best newspapers in the country, a few friends, an unhealthy addiction to coffee. She was content. And suddenly, in waltzes Gabriel, and it’s déjà-fucking-vu. She’s in love and under the impression that he is, too. But one day, he ends things. It’s out of nowhere and she’s devastated and she holds herself up in her apartment wondering what the hell was wrong with her.” Mimi was revealing weaknesses now, but she was pretty pissed. She wasn’t about to cater to his temper. She leaned forward, elbows perched on her knees, hands clasped in front of her. ”Gabriel, who expects a friendship, gets concerned and uses the key he never returned to get into her apartment. He finds that in place of the usual empty coffee cups and notes for articles, there’s empty wine bottles and hot pocket sleeves because she can’t cook and that’s all she manages to do as she contemplates her flaws. Pathetic? Probably. But that’s what the heartbroken do, don’t they? He sees that she’s vulnerable and gets her to have sex with him. This happens multiple times over the course of the next week and she’s foolish enough to believe that he would be with her again. But then he drops the ball. She is his hobby. His exact word to describe her was ‘hobby’ and that’s when she realized just how worthless she truly was.”

Deciding it was alright to raise her voice a little, she stood, feeling tall despite her small stature. Mimi stared up at him, unphased. ”And you’re standing here with the audacity to be mad that I’m questioning your motives. Let me tell you why that’s ridiculous. You are using me for sex. I know that. I have never once hinted to you that I wasn’t okay with it. Marco, you are married. Having sex with me is one thing. There’s no emotional ties. A dinner would be considered a date, and do you know what a date means? Either you merely feel guilty for using me for sex or you genuinely want to take me out on a date. If it’s the former, don’t worry about it. Really. I’m used to being used for sex. If it’s the latter, you need to step back and think. Because the minute emotions come into play, all of this gets ten times more complicated and I’m in no mood to be fucked with. So you need to think long and hard about why you want to take me out for dinner. You need to be sure of whatever reasoning there is.”

She took a deep breath to calm down. ”Now. I said yes. You can’t just get pissed because I didn’t melt in your arms when you offered to take me to dinner. Trust me, I get dinner propositions all the time. Most of them end up in one night stands. But we’ve seemed to skip everything else and got right into the sex, so for this regression, there’s got to be some sort of reason. I need to know if you have any emotional ties to me. If you do, I just want you to think about things. I’m not worth the risk. I’m nothing, Marco. I need you to understand that. Sex is one thing, but anything more than that… I just need you to think, okay? I like what we’ve got going. I just want you to thin before you toss more drama into this.”

Mimi felt as if she’d been harsh enough and softened considerably, the corners of her lips quipping up into a smile, her arms dropping to her sides. ”Now. If you still want to take me to dinner, yes. I’ll go. I’d be a fool to turn down free food.” A light chuckle escaped her. ”Now can we have sex? Because dinner motives or not, we both know that intercourse is why you’re here now. I put on the pretty dress for you. I look sex. So c’mon. Keep calm and take me, Sailor.”

[marc]

Marco didn’t want to listen to a blow by blow of her past relationships. He didn’t need to put up with that sort of bull shit. He wasn’t Noah or whatever the shit the other guy’s names were, and what had happened with those jerks had nothing to do with him. Maybe if he wasn’t already in a mood, he’d be more willing to listen to her open up about her past, but in that moment he just could not muster a shit to give. And yet despite the fact he had obviously zoned out, the silly bint kept on talking. God, she must have really loved hearing herself talk. Not even attempting to pretend he was listening, Marco looked down at his feet. He needed new loafers. The ones he had on were scuffed and just a bit tattered. Maybe on the weekend he could go shopping with his wife and let her choose some new clothes for him. Because apparently he didn’t know how to dress himself. Though, considering the comments on his choice of shirt colour had come from Logan Ellis, that could be debatable. Ellis wasn’t exactly known for his sharp fashion choices now was he?

God, what the hell? Was she bipolar or something? One minute she was waffling on about her best relationships, then she was pulling that woman shit where they say things about themselves for the soul purpose of you feeling sorry for them and assuring them it wasn’t true. God he hated that- the fishing for compliments and the sob stories. He was a nice guy, who wasn’t stingy with the compliments. There was just no need for someone to try and pry a complement from him. In fact, he was less inclined to offer his support when the person was being an attention seeking brat. What was worse, now she was doing a complete three sixty, or was that one eighty? Anyway, whatever. She was now wanting sex? No way. For one, she hadn’t even addressed his question- did she only like him for the sex. No, instead she had tried to turn it back onto him, and he wasn’t having it. “You know..” he started, his tone mock casual. “You loose your sex appeal the more you crap on about your pitiful love life, so I’m really not inclined towards burying myself in you anymore, if that’s okay.”

He knew he was being really horrible to her, he knew that. Marco found that he couldn’t help it though. When he was worked up about something it was like a switch flipped in his brain and he could no longer be the rational, compassionate person he tried to be. Instead he was just a man consumed by the over-whelming fire inside of him, unable to contain any impulse. Even if he didn’t actually mean it. However the hang-over of these sorts of blind rages was never good, and he always had a lot of making up to do when he calmed down. Still though, he never seemed to learn from his mistakes and attempt to control his tempter. “While we are on that subject, thanks for implying that I’m risking my marriage with someone who is nothing.” Okay, so there was a compliment buried somewhere deep inside that statement. You’re not nothing, Mimi.. However he just wasn’t in the right mindset to take out the truth of the statement and place it in a context that wasn’t likely to get a heavy object thrown at his head. Though, he was sure he already deserved that a million times over, so what did it matter?

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[mimiriter]

Marco’s response took her aback, because God forbid she ever try and prove a point. Did he expect her to just… Let him go off on her? Appease him? No, that wasn’t going to work. Mimi gave an incredulous chuckle at his words, shrugging her shoulders and deciding it was a lost cause. He was the one fighting. He was the one making things difficult. He was the one putting everything on the line. He was the dumbass, not her. Already her mind was running through a list of everyone she could call to assure she didn’t spend the night alone. It wasn’t as though that was a problem for her. If he decided not to do this anymore, well, that just meant she lost her only real repeated sex partner. There were no emotions invested in this. At least, not on her part. She was good. Fine, even. It didn’t matter.

It was all on his head.

So as he scoffed at her, Mimi sat back down on the couch, ruffling in her school bag (which was propped up against the couch) for a folder with ungraded tests. She was done fighting. She didn’t really give a shit. If he didn’t want to have sex, well, he could leave- there was no reason why he needed to stay now. ”Mkay,” she responded nonchalantly, cocking an eyebrow up at him, ”Well, I apologize for being a boner kill when I was trying to prove a point. But, I guess since you aren’t burying yourself into me anymore…” She shrugged. If she wasn’t getting sex, she wasn’t going to stand to be lectured for something she didn’t really even do, as far as she was concerned. So whatever.

Mimi leaned back, positioning herself so her feet were propped up on the coffee table in front of her. ”And you’re welcome for implying that you’re risking your marriage for the likes of me.” She casually clicked a pen and started going down the top paper, striking a line through a wrong answer. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. When she agreed to having sexual relations with Marco, it was with the understanding that his heart rested with someone else- it was his dick that rested with her. And she liked the situation. Feelings made everything far more complicated and… Whatever. There was no reason for an argument if both of them were just in it for the sex. He could go home and pick a fight with his wife if he was looking for a little spat. Huffing a frustrated sigh, she finished, ”Stay, or go, but if you stay, stop talking.”

[marc]

Marco felt himself shake his head. What, the shit? How could she one minute be all guns blazing and telling him about all the men in her life who have fucked her over, and throwing Marco onto that list, than the next claim not to care. It was enough to give a person fucking whip lash. Honestly, he found himself wondering if she was the common factor in her past shitty relationships in that moment. It was impossible to relate to someone who could just flip a switch like that and be over something they themselves started. “You’re ridiculous.” He spoke under his breath, an incredulous smile twisted onto his lips. If he didn’t force himself to smile, he would have punched a wall out of frustration and that wasn’t exactly going to go over well. ‘lol, soz for your broken wall’. Yeah, no. He’d need to keep any of those violent tendencies in check for the moment. No matter how much she was doing his head in, he couldn’t let it get the best of him. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he turned away from her for a moment to compose himself. Or at least enough not to slap her silly face.

Closing his eyes tightly, he run his fingers through his hair. It was helping, the deep breathing and what not. However, She was continuing. The stupid bint was continuing and her words were not exactly helping the situation. “Excuse me?” He turned to face her, a new wave of anger rushing through him. “Excuse me? I’m not implying that I’m risking my marriage for you, you stupid bitch. I actually am risking my marriage. This may be some huge game to you, but for me this is real, and has real consequences. Every moment I spend with you is risking everything for me, and you don’t seem to understand that, or maybe you just don’t give a shit.” Why should he continue risking everything for someone who didn’t care either way? Someone who just expected him to be an asshole and got upset when he tried to be a decent human being? It was ludicrous, and he wasn’t sure if it was worth it. In that moment, as he watched her get comfortable to grade papers instead of dealing with something real between them, she just didn’t seem worth ruining his life, putting his daughter through a messy divorce, and everything that went along with infidelity.

He stared at her for a moment, still completely ready to pull his hair out. He wasn’t going to stop talking, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave either. She couldn’t just call the shots like that just because she was emotionally retarded. In a few short strides he was in front of her on the cough. “No.” He said stiffly. “Just no.” Pulling the papers from her hand, he tossed them aside. Not really giving a shit where they landed or that they were important. “You started that by questioning why I wanted to go to dinner. You didn’t even answer my original question, just told me about all the other dick heads in your life. You can’t just shut down and not deal with it. This is happening, and you can’t just palm me off and shut down.” It wasn’t fair, and Marco wasn’t letting her do that. He didn’t even care that he shouldn’t be so emotionally affected by Mimi. He could deal with the connotations of that later. Right now he was more focussed on getting Mimi to actually admit she had feelings and wasn’t a robot about this whole thing. And if she didn’t- well that would be it for him.

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