lost all control and i need you now -- mimi

[marc]

What was he doing? Seriously. What the hell was he doing? He had a wife. A god-damned wife! A wife who he actually loved. Which was why he had broken off this whole stupid affair in the first place. It had been the right thing to do, and Marco knew that. He needed to just get over whatever it was with Mimi and focus on his marriage. He knew all that in theory.. So why had it been so damned hard in practice? Maybe it had something to do with the fact he had to see her every day at work. They really had no separation. It wasn’t fair though if he asked her to quit, and he needed the job to support his family. So it was stuck that way. He’d have to find a way to deal with the pangs in his chest that he felt when he saw her. Or the way he missed the feel of her in his arms.

He had thought that maybe drinking would help. A few shots of bourbon to clear his mind. That plan may have worked had he just kept it to a few.. Not. Shit how many had he done? He really didn’t know, but his bottle was just about empty. So that must meant a lot right? Shit. He was gonna have a monster headache the next day. Whatever. The point was, the booze hadn’t helped to put Mimi out of his mind at all. If anything, it had made it worse. Now the thoughts freely flowed without his brain even trying to stop them. That was probably why he had called her. He just couldn’t stand it anymore. Though everything about it was wrong, and his brain was arguing with him every step of the way.. Marco just knew he had to see her. To hell with the consequences. Or well, to hell with them until he was sober enough to regret it all.

Hanging up his phone, Marco stared at the screen for a few moments. She had agreed to see him! Woo!.. Only, how was he supposed to like, get there? He had enough rational thought left to realise that he was too drunk to drive and it wasn’t like he could just wake up his wife for a lift. ‘LOL BABE, WAKE UP AND TAKE ME TO MY MISTRESS.’ Yeah no.. He could walk there maybe? How far was it? Marco tilted his head to the side, contemplating just how far it was. Only he decided he wasn’t sure his legs would carry him very far at all in the state he was in. Fuck it, he’d just get a cab. Getting up, Marco grabbed the few essentials. Phone. Keys... What else? Oh! Oh shoes! He then scribbled his wife a note about needing to Pick up Ellis because he was drunk somewhere. Which wasn’t exactly the best excuse, because it would usually be Eliza to pick up the man, but whatever.

A short cab-ride later and he was outside her apartment building. Sending her a sloppy text to let him in. Once he had been buzzed up, as the wording went. Buzzed up. Heh. That was funny. Ehem anyway, once he was allowed in the building, the man made his way up the stairs. Stumbling a few times, but nothing too serious. He also fumbled a little with getting her door open, which wasn’t smooth at all. However, he got in, and that was important right? Blinking, the man smiled. “You let me in!” He exclaimed, as though it was a surprise. It probably would have been better off for them both if she hadn’t let him in to be honest, but Marco didn’t care for the right thing. Right now he just really, really wanted to see her. And wanted to know if she was thinking about him too. God he hoped so.

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[mimiriter]

Although the word had been running through her head since the moment she was aroused from her slumber by her cell phone, she still thought it was an accurate fit to convey how she was feeling: “Christ.”

The word echoed throughout her apartment as Mimi tucked her phone in the wasteband of her underwear, and she tossed aside her bedcovers to go look for actual clothes. Before, she never really cared if she was wearing pants when Marco made his way over. Now, however, everything was different, and she didn’t feel comfortable with having him come while she was still in her normal sleep attire, when she slept in the near nude.

She wasn’t one to get close to many people, so the fact that her mood had been considerably dampened in the weeks following the end to their little rendezvous really bothered her. It shouldn’t have bothered her at all. He was married, for Christ’s sake- she knew from the beginning that whatever they had between them was risky, and probably wouldn’t be anything more than sex. Normally, she didn’t have a problem with it. Mimi, while not quite ‘slut’ status, had had her fair share of sexual partners over the years, most of which never branching beyond the realms of a physical relationship, per her request. Sex was… Fun. Emotional damage was not, which she knew full well. So when she started in on the affair with Marco, she had no intentions to develop any sort of feelings for him. She thought she had succeeded, until the actual end came, of course- she felt… Sad. And that confused her.

She did her best to not see him during the school day, although that was pretty impossible. They didn’t speak to each other. They merely passed as though they were complete strangers, and that was how she figured she was going to be able to deal with it. She focused on her work, stayed late only when necessary, and returned to her rather empty apartment to enjoy some wine and grade papers. It was a method that was working wonderfully- until his phone call, of course.

It was obvious he was drunk, just as he admitted. She knew that drunk thoughts were more honest than sober ones, so him admitting he wanted to see her was something she wasn’t about to take lightly. Unfortunately, alcohol had the tendency to blur the lines between right and wrong, so as soon as she hung up the phone, she made the silent promise to herself that sex was out of the question. If he was going to reopen whatever this was, he needed to do it sober, because she wasn’t about to have sex with him only to have him wake up and regret it. It was as simple as that. He could get as pissed as he wanted over it- that wasn’t her problem anymore. He had a wife at home. Probably sleeping in the same house he just left. And… She needed to step up, for once, and be the one to recognize that.

She knew what it was like to be cheated on, and so Mimi had no idea what the hell she was doing with this affair. Hell, if it had been anyone but Marco, she probably would’ve just called the guy a piece of shit and leave the situation. But no. As arrogant and hot-headed as he was, he had a certain charm about him that, well… She missed him. And it was out of character for her, and frustrating, but something she couldn’t deny. Still, she was (for once) the sober one. She had to set aside whatever it was she wanted to recognize that he was drunk, and as soon as he snapped out of it, chances were he was going to regret the entire thing. So no. No sex. Kissing, perhaps. Talking. If he crashed at her apartment, she’d nurse his hangover in the morning. And that was that, unless sober Marco had anything to say in the matter.

At least they didn’t have work in the morning. TGIF.

After dressing in a pair of boxers-turned-shorts that she’d swiped from a previous partner, along with a white camisole, Mimi received the text indicating that Marco had arrived and she buzzed him up, then went to unlock the door, leaving it ajar for him to stumble in whenever he got up to her. She swept into the kitchen, then, to pour herself a glass of wine, returning to sit on the windowsill, sipping at the beverage while she waited.

Sure enough, in stumbled in Marco, and she couldn’t hold back a chuckle at his words. “I'm a woman of my word,” she shrugged simply, setting the glass down on the coffee table and folding her arms across her chest, approaching him, but stopping next to the couch. “And… You came. Hope you didn’t drive.” Mimi reached up to scratch her head, cocking an eyebrow. “So… What’s up?”

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[marc]

Closing the door clumsily behind him, Marco looked the woman up and down. Yes, she was a woman indeed. But, of what word? Marco titled his head in confusion. He was having a lot of trouble following what she was saying. Though, that wasn’t saying much considering he was having trouble following everything right now. He’d had to ask the taxi driver how much h owed several times before he understood and finally paid him. Perhaps he needed some coffee. Strong, black coffee. Something to sober him up and help his thought processes. It would take a lot to do that though, and he was certain he was going to have a huge headache in the morning. However that was tomorrow’s problem and he’d deal with it then. Just like he was going to have to deal with the consequences of all this in the morning. God, tomorrow was not shaping up to be a good day at all.

As he looked her over, realisation hit. She wasn’t wearing any clothes. No! Not that she was naked. She just wasn’t wearing clothes like you would wear out and stuff. Boxer shorts and tank tops were like.. Sleeping clothes. Marco let out a low gasp. Sleeping! She had been sleeping? Ignoring anything she had just said, Marco took a step towards her. His expression pained. “Oh no!” He let out. “You were sleeping? You were sleeping and I woke you up?” Somehow the idea of that distressed the man. “I woke you up!” He chastised himself, running an anxious hand through his messy hair. “Why did you even answer the phone?” Marco wasn’t like this. He wasn’t one of those weepy emotional drunks. So why was he sp distressed? He honestly had no clue. The only thing he did know, was that he was an ass for waking her up. A complete ass.

It was true. He was a complete ass. Only, it wasn’t the waking her up in the middle of the night that made him an ass. It was all the other stuff. It was the fact he had a wife. The fact he was making a huge mistake by even being here. He wasn’t there because he wanted to sleep with her. He was there because he missed her. Which was probably worse. It was one thing to physically cheat, but once emotions got involved it was a whole new ball game. What were his feelings though? I mean, he missed her, sure. What did that mean though? He couldn’t work that all out right now. Everything was far too foggy for him to make sense. He just needed to sit down.. or throw up.. Or god knew what. He needed to do something instead of just standing there like an idiot.

Moving past Mimi, he sat himself down on the couch. Burying his face in his hands. What was he doing? Swallowing, Marco pushed that question away. It popped up far too often and he just didn’t have an answer to it so it was useless to keep asking himself the whys and hows and the whats. “I’m so sorry..” He mumbled into his hands. What was he sorry for though? Waking her up, or the whole damned situation? Probably both, but the waking her up thing was easier to deal with. The whole situation thing would open a can of worms he needed to stay closed. He was far too drunk to have an honest conversation, because he may start talking about his feelings and that would push them past a point of no return.

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[mimiriter]

Mimi let out a slow sigh as Marco began to ramble on about waking her up. Honestly, she wasn’t too bothered. Sure, it was a bit obnoxious, but she wasn’t the type of person who needed a whole lot of sleep, anyhow. She felt that she could run sufficiently on five hours, sometimes less, and considering tomorrow was Saturday, she’d have plenty of time to sleep in. Not as many things annoyed her as much as she pretended they did. She mostly just liked to act like everything was a nuisance. So no- sleep was the least of her concerns at the moment. She shrugged a shoulder, arms loosely crossing over her stomach. ”Don’t worry about it,” she said simply, ”I’ve got all weekend to sleep. God knows I won’t actually grade papers.” Grinning to try and lighten the mood a bit, she reached for her wine glass, taking another sip.

The grin on her face faded ever so slightly as Marco walked past her to sit on the couch. It hit her, suddenly, that he wasn’t here for sex, either. Sober or drunk, she was used to being greeted with kissing and clothes removal. And right now, he was… Apologizing. Suddenly confused, she reached up to scratch her head. If he wasn’t around for sex, then why was he here? It was her understanding that intercourse had been the basis of their previous affair. No… Feelings being thrown around. At least not on his end. He had someone to love. She, well… Somewhere down the line, she started to care for him. But that was her problem. That didn’t at all explain his presence.

Shit.

Mimi moved closer to him, reaching up to slowly brush her fingers over his cheek. Bending down, she pressed a kiss softly to his temple, but left it at that. ”I’m gonna get you some coffee and a sandwich. See if we can’t take the edge off a little,” she said, grabbing her wine glass as she set off towards the kitchen. She put a pot of coffee on and made Marco a peanut butter sandwich. Perhaps not the best combination in the world, but he needed something in his stomach, as well as coffee to clear his head. It was as simple as that. She brought the coffee and the sandwich out to him when everything was finished, setting them on the table in front of him, before going to fetch herself some more wine. Upon returning, Mimi settled herself on the opposite end of the couch, curled up against the armrest, legs tucked beneath her.

She watched him for a second, chewing gently on her lower lip. Finally, Mimi shifted a bit, taking a sip of the alcohol. No sense in being completely sober for this. Who knew how it would end up? ”I don’t know what your, uh, plan is… But if you don’t think you can make it home, you can crash on the couch or something. I don’t mind. I have extra pillows and blankets, so… Whatever you need.” He seemed pretty out of it, but she didn’t know what he told his wife, so she wasn’t sure what the plan was. This was… Quite the mess.

[/justify][/size]

[marc]

Mimi wasn’t the only one he owed an apology to. Marco knew that. She was the only one he could apologise to though. If he said sorry to his wife, she would wonder what in the world he was even sorry for, and he’d have to come clean about the whole affair. Maybe he should come clean? Maybe that was just the only way to ease the twisting guilt in his stomach. He wasn’t sure he could handle it anymore. The twisting and pulling at his heart every time he looked at his wife, every time he was reminded of Mimi. Every time cheating was mentioned in a god-damned TV show. Ending it was supposed to ease his guilt. That’s what he had told himself. That’s how he had talked himself into it. It was supposed to make it all go away! It hadn’t though, and Marco couldn’t understand why. What was this pull Mimi seemed to have over him?

Feeling her warm hand on his cheek sent shivers down the man’s spine. Closing his eyes, Marco nuzzled into her hand slightly. God how he had missed her touch. Not in the way he had expected either. He’d missed the quiet, tender moments between them that weren’t about the sex or anything else. The moments in which they had simply shared some affection. They may have been rare, but it was those moments that stood out in his mind more than the times they had spent between her sheets or in the back of his car. It was the tender moments that kept him up all night and drove him to the drink. Sighing softly as she kissed him, Marco opened his eyes to watch her get up and leave. She was being good to him, and Marco was thankful. Coffee and something to at seemed like a really good idea right then. In reality, she should have been kicking him out, so of course he was thankful.

He sat in silence as Mimi busied herself in the kitchen. Trying not to think. If he thought about all this, it would just make things worse. He needed to sober up a little, and to sleep it off. And to feel the warmth of Mimi in his arms- No. The man shook his head, trying to drive those thoughts from his mind. Even if the idea of nuzzling into her neck and breathing in her scent was a very comforting one, he knew it was a bad idea. He needed to stay away, or well, as away as he could in her apartment. No physical contact, no matter how much he needed... no, not needed wanted it. He didn’t need it. No. If he kept telling himself that, it would make this whole thing so much easier. He could do this. He had no choice. He had to do this.

Swallowing, Marco looked up at the woman as she set down his sandwich and coffee. Attempting to give her a smile, he leaned forward to pick up the mug. “Thanks..” Was all he allowed himself to say. Not sure he could trust his tongue not to run off and say all sorts of things that didn’t need to be said. Taking a sip of the scorching liquid, he gave a feeble shrug. Honestly he wasn’t sure if spending the night was a good idea, it would just be way too tempting. Swallowing his drink, he gave another shrug. “I dunno..” he hedged, not really sure what to say. “I took a cab here, so I can always take one home..” Taking another sip, he looked down at the mug. “This is really good by the way.. Thank you..” He wasn’t sure if he was just saying thank you for the coffee, or the fact that she wasn’t kicking him out on his butt.

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[mimiriter]

This visit was opening up so many feelings, and it was kicking Mimi in the ass. She hadn’t seen him in so long, with the exception of passing in the halls at school, and… Goodness. She reached up to scratch her forehead, breathing softly. When he spoke, she lowered her gaze down to her foot as she toed a loose thread on the couch, swishing the wine in her glass around a little. ”That’s fine. I just thought I’d offer, since I wasn’t really sure… You know, what was happening.” She looked back up at him, smiling gently. ”And it’s no problem, really. Coffee and sandwiches are basically the two things I’ve got down when it comes to the kitchen. That, and popcorn, and hot pockets. Beyond that? Forget it. Hire a chef.” A silent chuckle escaped her lips and she scrunched her nose up, bringing the wine glass to her lips.

Upon finishing the glass, she huffed a sigh, setting it down. Instead of refilling her glass, she grabbed the bottle (which she had also brought out, of course) and took a swig out of that, satisfied. Wine was definitely her alcohol of choice. Pressing her lips together, she watched him in silence for a few seconds, then scratched her head. ”Marco…” she began softly, knowing she probably shouldn’t say what she was about to say at all, ”I don’t… Know why you’re here, exactly. But it’s good to see you.”

Mimi wasn’t very good at relaying her feelings when she was at all frightened by a situation- and what was happening with Marco definitely made her nervous. If she hadn’t realized it before, seeing Marco seated on her couch definitely confirmed that she had, in fact, missed him. She wasn’t used to missing anyone, and she didn’t think it was alright to say it, so she hoped her eyes relayed that message to him. She only kept it up for a few seconds, however, before running a hand through her hair and chuckling a bit to lighten the situation.

”Let’s get some fresh air in here, shall we? Might as well try and sober you up a bit more. I’d prefer to watch you walk out to that taxi- stumbling out isn’t too attractive,” she joked, pushing herself to her feet and making her way over to the window, pushing it open. Honestly, this was more for her than anything else. She needed something to do, something to keep her from looking any more vulnerable than she already did. Vulnerability was something she had always fought to hide, especially from him. She was his mistress. Emotions made things… Ten times worse. Even before, she fought to hide herself from him.

So what was so different about tonight?

Probably the fact that he’d woken her up. That had to be it.

When she turned back around, instead of sitting back down, Mimi stood with the bottle of wine in the middle of the living room, looking down at the ground.

[marc]

Marco didn’t really know what she was like in the kitchen. He didn’t think the woman had ever cooked him a meal. Wow. That was.. not a pleasant thought. The fact he had been seeing Mimi for so long before they broke stuff off, and they’d rarely had a meal together besides some post naked time take-out. There had only really been once or twice that they’d actually had a planned meal together. That thought made Marco feel a little sick. Sure, he’d known what the relationship was between them, but putting it into context like that made him feel like such a jerk for treating Mimi in such a way. The woman was better than that. She deserved someone who would actually take her out- spoil her. So why had she put up with Marco for so long? That was something he’d never understand. Why she hadn’t just kicked him to the curb. Like the rest of the scum.

Biting his lip, Marco tried to focus on anything besides Mimi. She was talking about feelings and missing him and he just couldn’t go there. Not right now. He knew he had no right to ask her not to say anything like that. He had been the one who woke her up and came over here. Of course she was just trying to figure out what it was all about. Hell he was trying to figure out what the hell it all meant. He just.. didn’t even know what to say to her. Swallowing, Marco picked up his sandwich and took a large bite. Giving himself a decent reason not to be able to respond to her comment about missing him. Or at least buying himself some time until he figured out how to even answer her. Which he honestly didn’t think would happen soon with his sluggish, drunk mind. So instead, he just chewed slowly.

Thankfully for Marco, she didn’t stand there waiting for him to say anything. At least Mimi seemed to be feeling just as awkward as Marco was. It was never fun when you were the only awkward one in a situation. As he finally swallowed his bite, Marco nodded as she mentioned air. Air seemed like a good thing right about then. Watching as she opened the window, Marco considered her in silence. She was different tonight, and he couldn’t really put his finger on why or how. It probably had a lot to do with the randomness of his call, but still. She was.. scratching her head a lot. Maybe she was itchy? Frowning, he raised an eyebrow. “Do you have nits?” He asked bluntly, as if that was a perfectly normal thing to ask a person. “You’re scratching your head a lot, so I thought... you know. There was an outbreak at my daughter’s school. Maybe you got it too?”

In his poor, sloshy mind, Marco thought his question had been perfectly acceptable. Though in reality, it wasn’t going to help anyone much at all. If anything it was only going to help make the situation more awkward. I mean really, asking if she had head-lice? Marco may as well have called her dirty then kicked her in the face. It was probably a good thing he didn’t realise how badly what he had just said could have been taken, or he probably would be fearing her reaction. Instead he just sat there, blinking at her serenely. As though all he had done was just ask her about the weather or something equally as mundane. Well, maybe to some people lice was mundane?

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[mimiriter]

Mimi merely sighed at his lack of response to her words. Although she had originally had mixed feelings when it came to his sudden reappearance in her life, right now she was just feeling… Less than thrilled about it. She was tired and he wasn’t here to talk about anything, apparently. Maybe that was for the best. Perhaps he’d go home and sleep it off, then vaguely remember coming over the night before. He’d probably hunt her down in school and asked her if they had sex, and she would say no, and he’d walk away satisfied and that would be that. Perhaps that was all this is. There she was, standing there, reading into the situation like he was there because he felt some sort of positive emotion towards her other than pure lust. But was that ever the case? No. This was one situation she shouldn’t be over-analyzing. He was drunk. She had no way of knowing what was going through his head and she was sure he wasn’t about to spill it. She was starting to get restless, but she did her best to hide it.

Her brow furrowed when he spoke of lice, trying to ignore the fact that he was talking about his daughter. His kid was the last person she needed to think about to rid herself of the guilt of giving Marco a reason to be in her apartment in the first place. At least this was probably just a one-time follow up thing. Inevitable, right? This wasn’t a huge deal. Keeping in mind that he was drunk, Mimi shook her head slowly. ”I can assure you I don’t have nits,” she responded, forcing a gentle smile, ”I don’t believe I’ve been in contact with anyone from your daughter’s school, anyways.”

The breeze floating in through the window made her cold, and she wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she’d put a blanket out on the back of the couch like every other sane person in America. Longing for the comfort of her bed- a place to provide warmth and the opportunity to forget- she rounded the coffee table and crashed down into an armchair, immediately pulling her legs up to tuck her feet underneath her, curling up. The good thing about being so tiny was that she could do that just about anywhere. Being short had the tendency to suck most of the time, but she liked being able to cuddle up in small places. She tucked her arms in tight to her and rested her head so she could look at him, although let her eyes close because, really. Watching him was only going to make her want him. She couldn’t have that right now.

A few more seconds of silence passed before Mimi decided she ought to pipe up again, because God knew that woman couldn’t stay silent for the life of her. ”Need anything else?” she asked, albeit a bit sleepily, ”Another cup of coffee? Something else to eat? I don’t know how sobered up you are at this point, or how sobered up you want to be, but… Yeah. Just lemme know.”

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[marc]

Maro felt a frown tug on his lips as he listened to her explain that she didn’t have nits. Of course she didn’t. It was even silly to suggest it. I mean, why would Mimi, a fully grown woman have any reason at all to be around the children from his daughter’s school? And she most certainly had no reason to come into contact with his daughter. Now that would be a rather awkward introduction. If it wasn’t himself in the middle of the situation, Marco would probably have found it rather amusing, maybe even laugh worthy. However when it was involving himself.. yeah no funny, just awkward. “Oh.. right..” Was all he said, trying not to convey to the woman just how stupid he truly felt at thinking she would have knits in the first place. Still though, that really didn’t tell him why she was scratching her head all the time, and he was pretty curious about that. It was probably best if he didn’t ask any more questions though. Since he was kinda making an ass of himself.

Marco watched in silence as she hugged herself, then moved to curl up in an arm chair. Raising an eyebrow, he considered her actions for a moment. The man’s brain seemed to be moving at a rather sluggish speed, so he was having a lot of trouble processing Mimi’s actions. Not that he was always so amazing at it. In fact, even when he was Sober, Marco had never really done a good job at reading her body language. Of course he had liked to think he was fantastic at it, but really, who was he kidding? He wasn’t actually that good at reading any females. Which wasn’t really his fault. Women were a foreign species entirely and who could understand them? Of course, Marco tended to pretend he could. Especially when he was giving someone like Ellis advice. He’d toss his hair in that cocky way he had, and pretend to have all the answers. When in reality; he had none. Marco was just as clueless as his awkward best friend.

She was cold! The realization struck Macro and he found himself frowning. Being cold was horrible, he knew that from personal experience. Well, everyone had personal experience of being cold didn’t they? Well, whatever. Rising from his spot quickly, Marco ignored anything she had just said. Making his way to her as quickly as his drunk legs would allow him. “You’re cold.” He stated simply, blinking a few times as he stopped in front of the arm-chair. Reaching out, he tugged at her arms. An-wrapping them from around her legs so he could pull the tiny woman to her feet. Once she was standing, Marco wrapped his own arms around her. Attempting to cover as much of her chilled skin as possible in his warm embrace. “Better?” He mumbled, bringing his chin down to rest in the curve of her shoulder. Breathing in the scent of her neck as he did.

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[mimiriter]

Mimi cocked an eyebrow as he started towards her. Guys had pulled this with her before. Cold? Sex ought to warm you right up. That was what they did, anyhow. They had sex. She was fully prepared to tell him off if his lips touched hers- this couldn’t happen. It wasn’t in the cards. They’d had their run and he ended it for a good reason and she couldn’t let him just throw it all away again because he’d had a bit of alcohol. Since when did she have to become the voice of reason? She was a terrible voice of reason. Absolutely horrid. She was the teacher who convinced her students to tell them about their problems and gave them advice that could probably get her fired if the proper authorities were to find out. Problems with sex? No “abstinence” shit. No, she cut to the chase. She’d earned a rep of being a good teacher to talk to that way, but allowing her to be the responsible one in situations like this wasn’t the smartest. She was proud of herself, though, for behaving. For not immediately jumping him when he came in, like she would have liked. For intending to stop him.

But he was not coming over to initiate anything sexual.

Relief shot through her and she hardly noticed that he had pulled her to her feet. In fact, she didn’t really notice what was happening until she heard him speak. They were… Hugging. Because she was cold. Mimi took a step inward, grabbing his shirt in her fists as she tucked her arms in to absorb more of his body heat. She dug her face into his shoulder, closing her eyes. They never did have many moments like these, even when they were “together”. It was mostly get in, get out- in more ways than one. He had a family to hurry home to and couldn’t spend all that much time with her. There were just a few occasions when the opportunity arose between rounds for them to just… Relax. It was only during those rare moments when she allowed herself to give in and show her calmer, more loving side, to cuddle. Those were nice moments. They weren’t dedicated to anything but the moment. This seemed to be one of those times.

It was wrong. This was, perhaps, an even worse crime than the sex itself had been. They probably would’ve been better off just jumping right into bed. But this was throwing emotions into the mix. Mimi couldn’t bring herself to pull away, though, no matter how much she knew she should. So instead, she took a step closer to him and raised an arm, hooking her hand around to the back of his head, her thumb softly stroking the hair on the back of his neck. ”This is a lot warmer, yeah,” she murmured, subconsciously pressing a small ‘thank you’ kiss to a bit of exposed skin on his chest.

After a few more seconds, she pulled back just enough so she could look at him. ”Marco,” she said breathlessly, slowly shaking her head. ”What are we doing?” A loaded question, but an important one nevertheless.

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[marc]

Marco liked this. He couldn’t explain why, but it was nice. Standing there with Mimi in his arms. She was warm and she fit nicely. Though, there had to be more to it than that though right? His wife was also warm and fit nicely in his arms, so what made standing there hugging Mimi so nice for Marco? That was a question he was struggling to answer to be honest. The only thing that he knew for sure was that he liked how it felt to hold her in his arms like that. With no ulterior motive, no sexual connotations. Just them, standing there hugging. He wasn’t sure it was something he’d ever done before with the woman- just hugged her for the sake of hugging. If they had done this before, well he couldn’t exactly remember it. He knew it couldn’t have been often though. This wasn’t apart of the relationship they’d had before.

As she snuggled in, Marco felt a small jolt of happiness course through him. That felt nice, too. Better than nice- it felt amazing. Tightening his grip on her, Marco pulled her in rather protectively. He’d always felt a strong need to protect the women in his life, his family, his wife, his daughter. And now it seemed, Mimi. Sure, he was only protecting the tiny brunette from the cold but still. It made Marco feel.. well to be honest like a man to know he was at least protecting her from something. It was a rather out-dated idea, and some women would probably get angry at him for thinking it, but Marco honestly believed that it was his job as a male to protect and look-after females. Not that he thought females were helpless and couldn’t not help themselves- far from it. It was his job though, you know?

As she spoke, Marco felt himself grin. We was glad she was warmer now. It made him feel like at least he was doing something right. Considering it was completely his fault anyway that she had to get out of bed in the middle of the night and freeze herself because his drunk ass needed fresh air. Warming her up was the least he could do for being such a complete jerk. It didn’t exactly make up for things though did it? He owed Mimi big time for the way he was treating her, only he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to even make up for it. Letting out a small sigh, the man felt a shiver as she kissed her thankyou to his flesh. God, she was amazing. What in the world was she doing putting up with the likes of him? A question that would always remain a mystery to Marco.

Feeling her shift in his arms, Marco looked down. Eyes catching her gaze. He swallowed at her question. Honestly, he really had no freaken idea. Leaving one hand around her, Marco moved the other to her chin, tucking his fingers under as he stroked the woman’s chin with his thumb. “I don’t know, Mimi..” He spoke softly, eyes not leaving hers as he did. “I’m sorry.. Should I stop hugging you?” God, please don’t let her say yes. He wasn’t at all ready to let her go..

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[mimiriter]

Mimi always prided herself in her ability to keep one foot on the ground and her emotions in check. Things were much less messy that way and her feelings weren’t hurt nearly as often. So why the sudden issue keeping that going? Christ. Maybe it was because he smelled so good. No, that was a lie. He smiled like alcohol right now. God, though. He usually smelled great. She wanted to know what cologne he used because she wanted to just spray down every guy who walked past her with it. Often times she wished he had accidentally left a t-shirt or something else she could sleep in at her apartment. She had never really slept with him before. Sex, yes- so much sex- but he’d always had to leave soon after they were finished. Understandably so. Satisfy himself with her, go home to his family. That’s how it had gone. But she’d always wondered what it would’ve been like if they did have a night all to themselves. Would he have stayed, if given the opportunity?

Did it even matter now? In all honesty, it probably didn’t. He wasn’t acting all that drunk but the fact of the matter was that he was, indeed, intoxicated. That’s why he was standing there, in her apartment, holding her. She’d always taken him to be a horny drunk but tonight, well… This was nice. She was confused. He probably wouldn’t call her again after this, if he even remembered it. He’d go home, cuddle up to his wife, and… That would be that. He may kick himself in the morning for coming over. If anything, he may call her up just to ask if they had sex or not. No sex. Just… This embrace.

When she felt his fingers under her chin, Mimi looked hesitantly up at him, biting her lip when she caught his eye. She had feelings for him, yes. There was no denying that anymore. But this… His gentleness, their closeness, it was taking it all to a whole new level. One she didn’t know how she was going to peddle back from. This would hurt in the morning. Like a bad fall. Make it so much more difficult to forget that he existed, that he was at home, happy, with his family.

So, so difficult.

Should I stop hugging you?

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

”Please don’t.” The whispered words escaped her before she had time to pull them back in, and she let out a soft chuckle to subtly vocalize the ridiculousness of the situation. Stupid fucking vulnerability. She must’ve just been tired. Certainly that was it. She’d kick herself once she had time to reflect. Stretching up onto the tips of her toes (because she was too damn short for this shit), Mimi rested her forehead against Marco’s, just wanting to feel his presence. She couldn’t have sex with him. She couldn’t really do much of anything. She just wanted to feel him there, in case this was the last time. She never really did have the closure she needed when he ended things the first time around. It had been abrupt and unexpected, and although she knew it would come one day, she was still left shocked and sad.

Perhaps this would do some good.

Probably not.

[marc]

Marco was one of the nice ones, right? He’d always thought of himself as one of the good ones. Sure, he had his faults but didn’t everyone? He knew he was childish, and when he got passionate about something he could get rather worked up. However he always thought he treated people well. He tried to anyway. His mother had always taught him from a young age that women deserved respect and Marco had always at least tried to show woman with as much respect as possible. Even as a young teen, Marco had been the sort to do all the little things that showed a woman you really cared. Not just the cliché flowers and chocolate stuff either (though he had done his fair share of that stuff too). Simple things like buying a woman something little just because you saw it and it reminded you of her, or telling her she has never looked more beautiful when you know she hasn’t slept and feels terrible.

He always tried so hard to be a gentleman, so what the hell was wrong with him when it came to Mimi? Marco was not only disrespecting his wife with his actions, but he also wasn’t showing Mimi much respect. Maybe some guys were okay with that sort of thing but Marco wasn’t. It was why he had ended things to start with. Because he couldn’t handle feeling like a scum anymore. He hated knowing he was hurting people with his actions. Sure, ending it wouldn’t make up for the fact that he had started it in the first place, but at least he wouldn’t cause any further pain. What he hadn’t actually counted on though, was how bad he would feel after ending things. How often he’d catch himself thinking about Mimi when he shouldn’t be. How.. empty he felt when he woke up in the middle of the night and realised he couldn’t see her. He hadn’t been counting on any of that.

Marco let his gaze stay locked into her features. Intense. His legs felt shaky and somewhere in the back of his mind he thought he maybe should sit down. However if he moved, he’d have to break the contact with Mimi and once seated he wouldn’t have another reason to pull her into his arms and in that moment, the thought of that made him kind of want to cry. Or no. Not cry because he was a guy and guys didn’t do that sort of thing. Just.. the thought of dropping her from his arms was just. No. He would ignore the wobble of his legs and the strange spinning thing his head was doing if she’d just let him hold her for a little bit longer. That was all he needed, really. Just to stand there and hold her close for a few minutes or until the ache that had developed in his chest. That was all he needed. Just.. this.

Frowning slightly at her laugh, he leaned in a little closer. “What’s so funny?” He asked, a smile forming on his lips. Her laughter was contagious, really. Moving the hand that wasn’t under her chin up, Marco gently brushed some hair from Mimi’s face. Tucking it behind her ear with care as she rested her forehead against his. God. Marco didn’t think he’d ever shared such an intimate moment with the woman, and it was unbelievable to him that just this simple interaction could make his head swim even more than the alcohol already had. Closing his eyes, the man breathed in deeply. Taking it all in because he knew that it all go away. The minute they broke away it would be over and who knew when (or if) it would happen again.

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[mimiriter]

It was true- Marco hadn’t necessarily been treating Mimi the greatest. And she wasn’t usually the type to put up with that kind of shit. But it had all sort of come about in an odd way. To begin with, both just seemed to be using each other for sex. That was really what described the bulk of her ‘relationships’. She very rarely had something monogamous, and that was just because the guy hadn’t wanted any more, and she was willing to go for that. She didn’t really have an issue with it. She was afraid of rejection and of getting hurt so she just tried to avoid any situation that could cause it. It just happened to be a plus that she really liked sexual intercourse. So when she and Marco had started whatever it was that they had started, it was okay that he’d been using her for a little spice, because she’d been looking for the exact same thing. She just hadn’t counted on falling for him somewhere down the line. Or actually being sad when he ended things, and she couldn’t flirt with him in the teacher’s lounge anymore. Or missing his the way she tucked so neatly against him in those few moments when he actually embraced her, such as he was doing now.

The gesture was filling her with unwanted emotion and her breath hitched in her chest when he smiled at her and brushed some hair out of her face. Mimi could feel his breath on her lips and it was all starting to overwhelm her. She didn’t want to have sex with him right now, and she didn’t want him to let go. But she wanted more. She craved further signs that he wanted her. That she meant something to him. This had to mean something, right? They wouldn’t be in this situation if she didn’t matter to him.

She didn’t feel the need to respond to his question. She didn’t even know what to say, anyways. Nothing about this was really funny. All she knew was that he was so close and she had missed him so much. Mimi was sure she should have stopped this a long time ago, but her heart was racing and her head was clouding and half of her hurt while the other half was just thankful he was there. She could feel her eyes filling with tears and she didn’t want that- she was a strong woman. She didn’t let herself cry over things like men or love. If she could avoid it, she did- especially in the company of others. The idea that he might not ever come back to her after he left just made her so sad. Actually, the idea of him having a wife made her sad. And a child. And another on the way. And… A life that didn’t involve her.

Mimi hadn’t felt the urge to have someone for a really long time, and she was… Struggling a lot.

Not sure how else she was supposed to handle anything, she took advantage of their close proximity and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. This was different than most of the kisses they’d ever shared before- there was no implication that she wanted anything sexual, just that she wanted to be wanted. There was more emotion poured into this gesture than anything else, and as she deepened it just a little bit, testing the waters. Mimi didn’t want this to turn into what they used to do. She just… She wanted a little bit of emotion. For him to know that she did care. He’d questioned that in the past, but she had feelings for him and hell. If nothing else, she needed him to know. Closing her eyes, she moved her lips slowly against his, desperately hoping he’d just… Respond well.

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