swallow my soul, ruby

[alex]

Bradley leaned back in his chair after logging off of his instant messenger. He sighed before pulling on his black chucks, he stood and pulled his jacket on; a leather one with a black cloth hood coming out of the collar. Grabbing his keys he walked down stairs “where are you going?” his mother greeted, it was strange having her home; he constant absence had gotten rather comfortable for Brad over the years. She was never much of a mother, but at least she had the proper sense to stay out of his life, unfortunately his copious amounts of private school expulsions caused her to be extra nosey about her son’s whereabouts and actions. That was something he wasn’t so keen on.

Sighing annoyed he turned to her, perched at their marble kitchen counter, in front of her were files of “problem children” at her posh private school, the kind of files he graced quite often, he clenched his jaw before speaking in a cold tone “i’m going out” he gave her a snotty smile “to see Ruby” making sure to spit that last part out before she had time to object. A smile spread across her face, she nodded in approval, she saw Ruby as a justification for moving her son from his homeland; the good influence he needed to get himself on track again. Thing was she failed to notice he was never quite on track. Maybe she could be, but he wouldn’t let her get close enough to him to be that. As much as he didn’t always show it he was glad she was in his life, she was something pure in his infected world. He wanted to keep that and he knew everything ends, there’s no point in speeding up the process and dating her, meant hurting her.

What a number those dear parents of his did on him, it seemed cheating ran in the family. His father had cheated on his mother and Bradley had been no different with any of his girlfriends, course on could argue that was because he never cared enough about any of them to stay faithful. He would only say it was more proof that depravity ran through his veins. The boy never had much faith in himself. “have fun, be respectful” her way of telling him not to corrupt a perfectly good girl, guess she didn’t have much faith in him either. He nodded “always” he said feigning sincerity as she pulled her hair behind her head into a messy bun, held only by sticks, Bradley was always in awe of how his mother did that, but he wasn’t going to ask her, it was a bit of magic he held onto from childhood.

Funny how the things we love as children stick with us as we get older, however sometimes things are ruined as you realize it was all just an illusion; love, trust, innocence. All so fleeting, lover turn to gladiators fighting to the death, trust; a façade created by poets to instill hope in mankind, innocence, well life takes care of that doesn’t it. His mother looked at him, it seemed she could always talk to him through a look and right now it was saying didn’t you say you were leaving, he turned to leave “bye mum” he spoke softly devoid of emotion, she responded with an mmhim. Waiting for him ever so patently was the only girl he allowed himself to love fully, his perfectly restored 1968 black mustang fastback; beautiful. He climbed in and headed to Ruby’s house, he pulled into her drive, he come to see her house as his own little Prozac. Leaving his precious baby behind he walked to her house and knocked, figuring the doorbell may wake the passed out Sam that lye with in the perfect walls. he wasn't afraid of the possibility, just not in the mood to deal with the overprotectiveness Sam felt for Ruby.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] In some ways, Ruby was still so naive and innocent. The way she actually believed that love would win out in the end, and that some romances never ended. She kept that part of her private though, because she knew most people were bitter cynics and would close her down in an instant. Much like Brad had when he’d told her they would, if they were to date, inevitably end. He also said you’d be great together.. Ruby tried to ignore voices like that. Voiced that dared her to hope for more then what she already had. It was impossible not to feel that small twinge of hope at his words though, especially when he left little glimmers around that there could be something more. Ruby knew how she felt, that wasn’t the issue. She hadn’t told him, and barely admitted it to her friends, but she was completely aware of her own feelings. It was his that left question marks in her mind. Sometimes she was certain she knew how he felt. That he had made it completely obvious. Then he’d say something contradicting and she’d be back at square one, questioning and second guessing everything between them to the point where her head would explode. Pulling back from her desk, Ruby closed her laptop. There was really no reason for her to be online now, since the only person she had wanted to talk to had signed off and was coming over. The girl couldn’t deny the tingles in her stomach at the thought. She hadn’t seen him in a while, and she really was craving that certain feeling of warmth being beside him brought her. That was one thing she could be sure of. Even when he was breaking her heart, she always felt warm beside him. She gave her Spanish notes a guilty glance as she stood up. Her test next week was important, but it was next week, and she was just going round and round with it all at that point, so it was better off taking a break- re-grouping. She’d like to say that she’d get back to it later that night, but the reality of that was actually kind of slim. With no one suggesting it was a good time for the other to go home, Ruby was convinced that they could stay up all night talking until they just fell asleep fully clothed. Hmm. That was a nice thought- falling asleep beside him. Leaving her room, the blonde made her way down the hall. Taking a detour into Sam’s bedroom. It was the other part of Ruby- the part that felt like it was more mature than most of her peers. The part that grown up way to fast that had spurred her into her brother’s room to check on him. Their parents had taken a much needed holiday for two weeks, and while Sam and Ruby were rather capable of looking after themselves, they’d sent Milly to her grand-parents. Saving Ruby that responsibility. Sam had taken his new found freedom as his chance to skip his Capeside College lectures, and order pizza, staying up late every night. However it wasn’t even a full week since their parents had left and he was exhausted, having fallen asleep watching T.V on his bed. Ruby flicked the T.V off, and set her brother’s alarm for the next morning- he at least needed to go to some classes this week. Though she had very slim hopes that his alarm would actually work. He was more likely to just sleep right through it. Rolling her eyes a little, she gave the sleeping brother a swift kiss on the cheek, before letting him sleep. Closing the door on her way out. Good timing too, because as she resumed her way down the hall, there was a knock at the door. Ruby smiled, re-adjusting her headband as she made her way down the stairs, faster than she had been before. She hadn’t changed from school actually, so the girl was dressed in thick white stockings that were designed to keep her legs warm, and a pale yellow knit dress. She had worn a jacket over it to keep her arms warm, but the central heating in her medium sized house was actually rather nice. Un-latching the door, Ruby wasted no time in pulling it open to reveal her best friend. She allowed a grin to spread across her features, lighting up her eyes. It was the same smile she always greeted him with. It was, however, a smile that was only reserved for Bradley. Stepping aside as she spoke, she made room for the boy to come inside. “Hey, you.” That was another thing that was unique to greeting Bradley. The utter affection and tenderness the word ‘you’ was endowed with when it was said like that. It seemed to express everything she felt, but understated, so you didn’t really notice it. “Feeling better now that you’re away from your mother?”

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[alex]

Leaning against the wall, he waited for Ruby to appear in the doorway. It’d been a while since he’d last laid eyes on her and her appearance was very welcome. The feeling in his stomach however was not, that fluttery feeling you get when you’re nervous or anxious about something. After all this time he shouldn’t be that way, he shouldn’t have that feeling anymore; that’s supposed to go away with the more you know someone. Yet Bradley still got anxious whenever he went to see her. Maybe afraid that she would decide he isn’t worth her time after all, he didn’t like that feeling, the feeling of not being enough and he knew he wasn’t, but for some reason he still wasn’t able to stay away from her. His mother did always say he was selfish. Ruby opened the door with a smile, he smiled back at her “hey you” he answered back, it seemed to be their regular greeting, something they saved just for each other.

Two words that built a perfect sentence for them; saying it all without saying what they really mean, of course Bradley was completely oblivious to its true meaning for her. She’d hinted to her feelings for him, but he chose to ignore them or remain oblivious to them. It was easier that way, Bradley couldn’t decide if his feelings for her were real actual feelings or if he’d get bored of her like everyone else. Every time he tried to be someone’s “boyfriend”, even if he thought they were great, he always ended up bored. The idea that no one would live up to his fickle attention span had made him simple give up. It’d never occurred to him that maybe his boredom was just simply fear of having to go through what his parent’s did, the yelling, clawing and anger that they subjected him to when he was young. Maybe he sabotaged himself on purpose, picking people he knew he grow tired of. Oh the subconscious mind, isn’t it grand.

As he walked through the door way he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up in a tight hug, he returned her to the floor “I feel better now that I’m around you” he spoke with a smile. It was incredible how true that actually was. Ruby had that uncanny ability to make him feel better no matter how bad his day had been. The kind of feeling you get when you sleep with your mother’s pillow when you’re sick, Bradley had never experienced that particular comfort for himself, but he imagined it’d feel a lot like hugging the small blonde. Moving further into her house he turned back to her “Sam still passed out?” small talk, no real interest in Sam’s whereabouts, Sam was weary of him. Maybe his mother was right maybe Ruby was rubbing off on him, after all in most cases he would have just said what he needed to, do what he needed to do to get her in bed and then ditch her.

Something about her was different though, he actually liked her and she was naïve enough to believe he was better than everyone thought. Making him what to be what she thought he was or rather what he could be. Well he would have to admit maybe he was just a little naïve as well. He looked at her standing in her white tights and yellow dress, a smile spread across his face “nice dress”, she always looked sweet, but something about her white tights and bright dress made him think of Alice in Wonderland, she even had a headband to top it all off “should I start calling you Alice?” he teased, he wasn’t sure she’d get it, after all not many people thought like he did. It did raise the question of who he would play in this Wonderland scenario. Bradley was never very good at analyzing himself, he pulled at the bottom of his black and white plaid button up, he wasn’t as brightly dress as she was. Course he didn’t own a lot of color in his wardrobe to begin with, but it was a bit funny; the contrast in their clothing seemed to depict their personalities so well. Somehow Brad always found himself in awe of her, she was special, even if she didn’t know that.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] As soon as his arms were around her, Ruby curled into him. Her head finding the curve of his neck- where it seemed to fit just perfectly. Arms slipping around him tightly. Ruby wasn’t a hugely affectionate person. She didn’t give away free hugs, and she wasn’t often curled up with people while watching T.V. She was the sort of girl who showed her affections in other ways. Just small ways, like doing something nice just because she can or what not. No big grand gestures. A lot about Ruby was actually rather understated to be honest. However, Bradley was the exception. She would never deny him a hug, or really any sort of affection he asked for. She would even find herself initiating it at times. Craving the feel of his strong arms around her, and the warmth of his chest against hers. Friends would often ask what made Bradley so special that he got her affection, however she always just smiled and shrugged. Ruby didn’t feel the need to justify to anyone why she liked to hug Bradley. It was just the way it was, and as long as she knew why, than that was all that was important. She would have let him hug her longer, however she happily let him go as he put her back down. Sure she’d get another before the night was over. Or at least hopeful. At his answer to her question, the blonde couldn’t help beam. Feeling her skin tingle happily. She always had similar reactions when he said sweet things like that. It was instinct she guessed, because she certainly hadn’t told herself to smile and blush like a loon just because he said his night was better now that he was with her. It was a little embarrassing at times at just how much he made her feel like a school girl with her first crush. Okay, so she was a school girl, but she has had feelings for people in the past. It just happened to be a lot stronger with Bradley than she had ever really felt. In fact, she was willing to bet it was love- or as close to it as she could feel without ever having kissed him or gotten to know him as more of a lover then just a friend. And no, I’m not talking about sex. Just the more intimate side of a person you see when you are in a relationship. Though it sometimes felt like they could be. Nodding, she gestured towards Sam’s room. “Yeah, he fell asleep watching T’V. I think he’s out for the count.” It wouldn’t have mattered if Sam was awake though, she’d still have asked Bradley over. It just helped that her slightly over-protective older brother wasn’t hovering around, eyeing off the boy. In Sam’s defence though, he was there when Bradley was being distant and upsetting Ruby, so he did have a good reason to be weary of the kid. Ruby just wished that people would get over that. If she could forgive him and get over it- then why couldn’t everyone else? She was the one who had been hurt, not them. It just put extra pressure on the friendship and she didn’t want that. However now wasn’t really the time to be thinking about that. Pushing Sam from her mind, Ruby glanced down at her dress. It took a moment to click in her mind. She was so used to the Disney idea of Alice in a blue dress, but she did look a little like a traditional Alice. Chuckling to herself, she shrugged. “If you’d like to, Cheshire Cat.” That was actually probably a really good pick for Bradley. She had just chosen the first character that came to mind, but the more she considered it, the more it seemed to really fit. The way he would disappear and re-appear from her life without much of a warning. She wasn’t sure if the personality was much of a match- or well, she supposed they were both pretty cocky and liked to tease. Yeah, actually it was a perfect match. She did wish she could pin him down though- stop him from disappearing sometimes. Though, she had the feeling that it was close to impossible. She knew him better then she knew most people, and she could usually follow his thought process pretty well. However that was the one thing she just hadn’t been able to figure out yet. Why he kept pulling away from her. She supposed the best thing to do was just to cherish it when she had him. Smiling softly, she switched the tone from playful, to a little more serious. “I’ve missed you..” the words were soft, but still there. She let them hang for a moment, before turning to the stairs. “Come on, let’s go hang out in my room.”

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[alex]

Affection was never the problem with Bradley, he always showed lots of affection. Only it lacked the thought that should go behind it, the feeling of wanting to hug that person because it makes them feel better or even the fact that a simple hug was like an emotional Heimlich for the soul. That little squeeze you need to get that chunk of sadness out of your throat. It was the same with sex for him, he never attributed it to love or even something you do with someone you like. More of a basic need was how he thought of it. However when he hugged Ruby it was an emotional Heimlich whether he liked it or not. Simply her presence was, as much as it may have sounded like a line, standing in front of her did make him feel better about all those things his mother said. They were like polar opposite his mother and Ruby. Ruby never condemned him for his behavior she was still his friend after all he’d done, dropping out of her life for days, sometimes weeks and then suddenly appearing again; she never asked for an explanation, she just welcomed him back.

On the other hand his mother did nothing but point out his failures, mistakes and general imperfections; yes Bradley knew deep down under her ice queen exterior she must love him, but all he ever felt as a child when he hugged her was cold. That’s not the type of feeling you should get, maybe he just looked too much like his father, or maybe he just acted too much like his father. Quite honestly, though he’d never admit it, he could hold her all day and be happy as a clam. It’d probably take him a while to get tired as well, her being as light as she was or maybe it was his own strength that made it so easy to lift her into his arms. A chicken or the egg conundrum, they were a conundrum, a reckless man whore the best friend of a sweet virginal girl. He always assumed she was a virgin though he never asked for clarification, but after all she never seemed to appreciate the stories he told of his own sex-capades. Though how many girls would, whether the liked him or not. The sheer fact that Ruby let him touch her or even be around her was amazing to him. He would never guess there were things she reserved just for him, even if he did reserve things just for her.

The thought of it was stupid to him, the thought that he deserved to have something reserved just for him. The thought that he deserved her at all as a friend or otherwise was oddly sad to him. For some strange reason she seemed to think he deserved her and her time and he wasn’t going to do anything to purposely change that he was selfish that way. Bradley didn’t really have anything against Ruby’s brother, he understood it as much as he didn’t appreciate it, he understood it. He’d never stand for someone hurting Ruby the way he had since he’d known her. Running away from her was his way of protecting her, stupidly he thought that it would hurt her less than it would if he let her in. In so many ways he felt a lot like a monster, ripping everything that got too close to shreds, emotionally of course. Though he also thought that was a bit self obsorbed to think he had that much of an effect on people. A smile spread across his face as she responded, so she did get it “ Only the insane equate pain with success” he quoted one of the cats lines that he remembered, he smirked at her “I always preferred the mad hatter though, I have thing for the crazies” his voice was smooth as it always was, something that didn’t come to most so easily came to him like breathing.

Charm was his gift, he’d had it his whole life and his mother used to tell him ‘you can be the biggest asshole on the planet, but with a little charm you can hold the world in your palm’ and she wondered why she raised a charming dick. Standing frozen in front of her as her words hung in the air ‘I missed you’ he stared at her with a bit of a feigned smile on his face he nodded lightly. No response, no explanation, he didn’t even have a good one; what was he supposed to say? ‘I left cause I felt like you were getting to close’ breaking everything wide open, he’d have to tell her the truth, the truth about his feelings. Bradley had never been good a feelings. She saved him as she always did, let it slide, he follow putting his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head “I missed you too honey” his voice muffled by her hair, he let a smile spread across her face. He squeezed her closer to him for a moment an released her from his grasp.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] Ruby always saved him. She’d say something that could lead them into emotional waters, bite her lip, then change the subject. She only wished though, that she was saving him for his sake. In all honesty- it was her own. He was probably thinking there she was being so nice to him when really it was such a selfish act. She would get up the courage to say something, thinking that she wants to actually talk about it that time. However as soon as the words left her lips she realized she was petrified of the answer to the question she was indirectly asking. Probably just as scared of the answer as he was of giving it. Of course, her fears were much different than his. While he feared the fact he could in fact love her, Ruby feared the fact that he didn’t. That everything she felt between them was all her- in her mind. If that was the truth, then she should hear it. It would make letting go easier. She couldn’t though. She knew if he turned around and in any definitive way that left no doubt between them that he didn’t care about her- well, Ruby knew that it would shatter her. It was just much safer for both of them if they didn’t go there. Why she insisted on almost going there, she’d never understand. It was like the part of her that wanted the realise that his answer would bring took over for a moment, before she figured out what was happening and stepped back in. Or maybe it was the part of her that clung to hope. The part that told her ‘it’s okay, his answer is yes, he loves you’. Also a part of Ruby that she felt the need to control. She just wasn’t sure which one she was more scared of. For a girl who claimed to be content to live out romance through books, and claimed not to need anything from anyone, she seemed to spend a lot of time wanting things from Bradley. And the fact that he was pulling her close to him in that moment had her heart beating way too fast for a girl who was fine with just being his friend. The blonde closed her eyes tightly, trying to sooth her mind as she felt his lips press against her temple. That wasn’t helping at all, as it just sparked more debate in her mind. Leaning against him for the moment, she bit the inside of her lip-hard. She needed to control her thoughts and just focus on the present. She could over-analyse any and every action later to her little heart’s content. She knew she would, so why start now? Instead of thinking, she focused on sensations. Like the way her heart leapt when he called her ‘honey’. She knew it was a nick-name of hers, known to a lot of people, but spoken in the cadence of Bradley’s voice, it just seemed different. Smiling, she looked up at him as he let her out of the one armed hug. Her eyes expressing how much she liked it when he did things like that- told her he missed her and kissed her face. With a lot of people, Ruby felt the pressure to talk a lot, but not with Bradley. He seemed to accept she was quiet, and never assumed her silence was a bad thing. She was an odd one. So happy and smiley, yet quiet. People would assume the girl who had a white and yellow comforter on her bed, and wore lots of paste colours would be a real talker, so they were often surprised that Ruby didn’t run off the mouth constantly. Stepping into Ruby’s room was strange for people. Not knowing who’s room it was, one just couldn’t be sure if it was hers or her little sisters. Not that it was all completely juvenile. It just seemed to be a jarring mix of child and young adult, that, once you knew Ruby, made perfect sense. Her furniture was all off white, matching, and new yet styled to look weathered. Giving the room something of a modern Victorian feel. The walls and carpet were pale- which was Ruby’s parents choice, not her own. Covering a good portion of ever wall were photo frames full of images of her family, her friends, or just photos she liked. Which changed almost every time she developed a new roll of film. At the moment the majority were black and white, that being her latest photography craze since she had found an old black and white camera at a thrift store. The book-cased housed a ton of board games and soft toys. Her books in the shelves above her desk. She supposed the double bed, laptop, TV and stereo was the give away that it wasn’t a child’s room. The first time Bradley had seen her room, she had been worried about what he might say, but now not so much. He accepted her, even if she begged him to play board games with her and had not gotten rid of her childhood teddy bears and porcelain dolls. “Make yourself at home,” she smiled at him. Though she hardly needed to. She knew he’d do so anyway. He’d been here enough times. Sitting herself down on the bed, she crossed her legs. Picking up one of the small lacy throw pillows to hug. “I wish your mother wasn’t so awful to you.. It’s like all she does is focus on the bad and she forgets to appreciate you for what you are.”

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[alex]

How could he not know what he did to her? Maybe on some level he did maybe that’s why he felt guilty so much of the time in her presence. On the surface of his mind he did know he was no good for her and he often assumed she knew the same. Yet he also knew that he did things he shouldn’t, things he wouldn’t do with just any old random friend of his. If he stopped and thought about it he’d be able to decipher that he was leading her on as much as he led himself on, he wasn’t a stupid idiot after all, no matter what most may think. That was how Bradley saw it though when he kissed Ruby’s head, when he allowed himself to show her affection; he was testing out what it would feel like, if he could try things out with her. A pipe dream of sorts, then he’d bring himself back to reality and remind himself I’d never work, relationships never work. For some strange reason he always used his parents relationship as a reference; they had the perfect marriage, they loved each other and would have done anything for each other, but a few years pass and they hate each other, his mother’s covering up bruises with makeup, his father coming home drunk in the middle of the night and then finally not at all.

In his childhood he’d always thought his mother was the strongest woman in the world and suddenly she was reduced to a sad, bruised doll, heartbroken that her husband walked out on her and their son. She wasn’t angry with him, only sad, she loved him more than herself. All because she loved a man that Bradley shared half his chromosomes with. He knew he’d never hit a girl, he’d never hit Ruby, but he knew he could hurt her. Because that is all Bradley knew of love; pain. Walking into Ruby’s room was always like walking into a time warp, bright and cheery just like she was. The room was so obviously Ruby and it’d become to him like a little haven, even if she did often badger him into playing a board game every now and again. You’d never get him to admit it but he liked sitting on her bed playing games like Monopoly, just another strange thing that made him feel young, pure again, special.

Ruby told him to make himself comfortable, something she seemed to say every time, no matter how many times he’d been there before. He watched as she sat on her bed, he sat next to her laying the top of his body on her bed, a small strip of his toned stomach appeared, interesting how shirts always seem to be too short when you lie down, but are perfectly fine while you’re standing. Ruby spoke, her words were encouraging as they always were. Funny how she never seemed to have a bad thing to say to him, she was always prepared with something sweet, it was nothing short of impressive to a boy who could rarely find anything nice to say. He turned his head toward the blonde sitting up next to him and there it was; guilt. She believed there was more to him than the bad, he’d convinced her of that somehow, without even trying. “what makes you think there’s anything to appreciate” he shrugged his shoulders “other than my good looks that is” a smile crept across his face.

Taking a deep breath through his nose “how do you do that honey baby?” he spoke softly “you always believe there’s good in people” he said as he scratched his fingers against her back lightly. Takes a brave girl to do that, take a risk on people although so many people mistake bravery as naivety or just plain stupidity. Bradley was no exception as much as he enjoyed Ruby’s naïve tendencies he did worry about her, girls like her ended up getting eaten alive by guys like him. Destroyed in one single swift action, one short relationship, even one night, however Bradley never worried about Ruby just sleeping around, she was better than that and she knew it. She wouldn’t give it up to just anyone, hell he never got the impression she’d let him have her in that way. She was the special sort, he wasn’t I was a simple as that. After all he’d laid in her bed so many times and ninety nine percent of the time they were playing board games, they had a pretty innocent relationship the two of them and why would either of them ruin that. Only thing was he thought about it sometimes, ruining them going for it, trying the relationship thing.

Monotony was never his thing though; everyone in his life told him that every time he tried something he never stuck to it, he just got bored and moved on to the next more exciting thing. His mother never missed a moment to point out that he hadn’t had a relationship lasting longer than a week. Yes the sad truth the longest it’d taken him to get bored with an entire person was a week. Couse he did have the tendency to pick rather one note girls with very little substance, which only seemed interesting at the time. Smiling again “she likes you, mum” he paused for a moment “so she can’t be all that bad right?” he stared at her with a small slight smile painted across his face.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] The funny thing was, that Ruby would. She’d let Bradley touch her like that. If he asked her to, she’d slip her yellow dress off over her head nervously and give him the thing that once it’s gone- you can’t get it back. It wouldn’t even seem like a mistake to her. At least not unless Bradley’s actions after wood made it clear it had meant nothing to him. However something in Ruby told her that despite what he would say, it would be just as big a deal to him. That it would mean something to him. In all the times they had been alone together, in her room, in his room, in the dark cinema, on the grass at the park late at night watching stars- he could have had her a million times over, and yet he hadn’t made a move. Ruby knew how he worked, she’d heard his stories. If he wanted to bed her then ditch her, he would have done so by now. Which was her reason for believing anything that did happen from that point on would be real for them. What she didn’t know was if he even wanted anything like that from her. Ruby bit the inside of her lip as she watched his shirt slip up. She may not have had a lot of experience, but she wasn’t oblivious to how utterly attractive the boy laying on her bed was. She was also a girl, and like every girl she had certain feelings about that sliver of bare skin. Feelings that made her want to reach out, just once, and touch it gently. Run her fingertips gently across his stomach, just to know what it would feel like. Only, she wasn’t sure it would end there. It would at least cross a line of friendship, and at most start something she couldn’t stop. That thing wasn’t something she wouldn’t want, but she wanted it to be because they both felt something, not because he was turned on and had nothing better to do. Sighing to herself, she decided it was best to just look away from his stomach. Safer for everyone if she didn’t temp herself into doing anything. Besides, being the old-fashioned girl that she was, Ruby wanted the first move to come from Bradley. If anything were to happen between them it would just have to come from him. Which was convenient for Ruby. It meant she didn’t have to put herself on the line. The fingers on her back did not help the temptation thing. Ruby closed her eyes for the moment, melting into the tingling sensation he was producing. She loved her back being stroked or tickled. When she was small, her mother would tickle it softly when trying to sooth the girl off to sleep, so it just seemed so warm and comforting now for Ruby. However, with Brad’s fingers, there was an added spark with each new touch. Opening her eyes, she swallowed. And tried to focus on his words, not what his fingers were doing. Glancing back towards him, she smiled softly. “Everyone has good in them.” She spoke as matter-of-factly as if she was telling him the weather. “You just have to look hard enough.” She meant it too. Of course, her beliefs had never been tried out before faced with someone with truly heinous behaviours like a murderer. That was the beauty about the somewhat safe world Ruby lived in. She could believe in the good of humanity without it being ripped away from her while she was still young. Though, she did feel bitter at times when she thought about everything her sister had to go through. The blonde shrugged slightly. It was nice, that his mother liked her, but she really didn’t want to talk about herself, or have him compliment her. Not that she didn’t like it, just that right now she felt like he needed it more than she did. After a bad day, when she was feeling like hell she’d curl up and let him tell her how wonderful she was, but right now it was his turn. “Still...” She gave another shrug, trailing off. Her eyes searched his face for a moment, before she made a bold move. Well, bold for Ruby. Leaning down, she pressed her lips to his cheek gently for a few moments, before curling her smaller body up beside his, moving to rest her chin against his shoulder. “You’re beautiful, you know..” she whispered, her face close enough to his ear that volume wasn’t an issue. “Inside and out.” She could have continued, and listed all the positive qualities she saw in him but he’d heard it all before. Besides, the kiss to his cheek, the closeness of her frame and her quiet whisper should say enough.

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[alex]

It was always so quiet at Ruby’s house. Usually one could only hear the light clinking of dishes or the gentle hum of the television. Soft murmurs between her parent, though they never seemed to sound angry. He’d never been around for an all-out blow out, he wasn’t even sure the Honeycutt’s had them. Ruby didn’t really talk about them if they did. The Honeycutt’s seemed like a good family though none of them really seemed to love Bradley all that much again he couldn’t blame them. Ruby’s parents always seemed a bit absent though, which reminded him of his own mother. Yet Ruby had taken to the lack of attention, better than he had, instead of acting out for attention she accepted it and ran with it. Instead of being bitter she decided to make everyone else feel wanted and loved. At least that was how Bradley saw it, it was something he always admired her for, choosing to be better rather than choosing to stick it to everyone. Maybe it was because she felt her parents had a reason, maybe if Bradley was in her position he’d have done the same thing.

Laughing lightly, she really was something wasn’t she “well I hope that true” he said with a smile “for your sake” he was being sincere, he really did hope it was true, he wouldn’t want her learning the hard way it wasn’t true. Maybe if it was there was hope for him, as selfish as that sounded. Granted Bradley didn’t actually think he was some Disney villain, he didn’t think he was evil per say, just bad, at least bad for Ruby. His fingertips felt like they were charged with lightning as he touched her back, he pulled away, he didn’t need to do that to himself. It’s wrong and right at the same time, something he didn’t need right now laying down on her bed with her sitting right next to him. There she was being so cute and naïve, being so perfectly Ruby. There was something so oddly infatuating about her, she somehow managed to smell nice, not that Bradley went around sniffing her all the time, it’s just one of those things you notice after spending time in close quarters together. How could she have never been let down enough to believe the worst in people, just more proof he didn’t need to be the one to do it.

He shook his head as she shrugged “you don’t have to be so modest all the time, you can take a complement” he wore a smirk on his face, it was just like her to dodge a complement. Why he wasn’t sure, maybe she didn’t want the woman who seemed to hate her own son so much to like her. Or maybe she really was just too modest. Suddenly he was shocked out of his own thoughts as her lips landed on his cheek gently, his heart stopped for a moment. She was speaking to him as she laid her head on his shoulder; he swallowed–hard and worked his jaw. Thinking about what just happened and nothing at all, it was all jumbled in his head. Turning his head to face hers he looked at her with something that could only be explained as confusion, he looked away clenching his jaw, trying to keep himself from doing what he desperately wanted to do. It wasn’t that she called him beautiful; he already knew that, he’d been told plenty of times that he was good looking some even went as far as to say he looked like something Michael Angelo couldn’t capture.

The simple fact that she cared enough to assure him that someone saw something good in him. She cared enough to tell him exactly what he needed to hear, she always did that. He breathed lightly before turning to face her again, he ran his finger against her cheek and kissed her lips gently and for a moment he let himself. Pulling himself away, he stood up “I’m sorry” he breathed putting his hand to his head “I shouldn’t have done that” he shook his head. The boy had just done the stupid thing he believed he could possibly do, what was he thinking? Right he wasn’t thinking that was the problem. Now all he could think about was how to get out of this situation, how could he rewind and take it all back. Take back his ruining the best friendship he had. His hand over his mouth he breathed “shit” why’d I do that? he thought even if he did know why, he was more asking why he didn’t stop himself, he’d done it before, why not this time and why wasn’t he just bolting for the door “I should go” he thought out loud moving towards Ruby’s bedroom door.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] Ruby thought she’d done something wrong. Crossed some line. Fear spread through her as he seemed to tense. He didn’t seem like he was able to look at her. Tears stung Ruby’s eyes as he clenched his jaw and turned his face away from hers. Only she couldn’t move. She had no idea what to do. If she sat up or moved away, she may as well take back what she had just said to him. What she had just done. She didn’t want to take it back. She wanted him to know at least on some level how she felt. It hadn’t been an admittance of love, but it was just as important to Ruby that he knew she found him beautiful. If she sat up and pulled away, he’d find a million ways to pull apart what she had just said and not believe it. He was so used to believing the worst in himself that he was good at turning compliments into insults. She wasn’t going to let him do that right now. As much as she could see that for some reason he was uncomfortable, he was going to face it. She wasn’t sure how, but she wanted to stand her ground. And then it happened. He was looking at her again. Closing the distance between them. His lips found hers, and it felt as though they were charged with electricity. It was over-whelming, the sensations that sparked inside of her the moment his lips met hers. Her body seemed to be humming, the spark from his lips to hers spreading throughout. Her heart raced, pounding so hard against her rib cage she was sure he could hear it. She felt as though she could explode with joy. However, again, she found herself unable to move. One wrong move on her behalf and she could ruin it. What if she wasn’t any good? Or he didn’t feel the same spark? What if this was all in her mind and she woke up in a few moments to find it hadn’t really happened? What if- and this was probably the worst, he regretted it afterwards? She knew how he worked well enough to know he acted, then thought sometimes. If this was one of those times, she wanted to give him time to think before she reacted and got too invested in the kiss. It was safer that way. A soft whimper passed her lips as she felt him pull away. She wasn’t surprised by his action, but how much it hurt. It was as though he had reached into her chest and pulled her heart out along with him. Sitting up quickly, the blonde moved to sit on the edge of her bed. The back to her door. It wasn’t so much that she couldn’t look at him, it was more that she just didn’t want him to see tears filling her eyes. She couldn’t fight them- not now. She knew it. Ruby had grown pretty good at fighting her tears when Bradley was around, but this time, there was no way. Her shoulders hunched a little, and she let out a soundless sob. Everything was crashing down around her in that moment. All her hopes. All the silly fantasies that he had feelings for her. She couldn’t think rationally about why he had broken off the kiss. The only thing that seemed logical to her in that moment was that he just didn’t see her like that, and now he was regretting the moment of intimacy. He was sorry. He didn’t think he should have done that. He’s not in love with you, Ruby. Let it go. His next sentence helped to shake her out of her own state of misery. God, he couldn’t go, not like this. She had to show him that it was okay. This moment wasn’t going to affect or change their friendship. She just wouldn’t let it. She needed him in her life too much for that. Angrily wiping at the tears on her cheeks. She stood. “No. Don’t” Moving around the bed, she took deep breaths, pulling herself together as much as she could in such a small amount of time. “Come on, it’s fine. Already forgotten.” She spoke softly, trying to sound casual but the heartbreakingly choked tone to her voice was giving her away. That was okay, they pretended a lot of things were okay, why not this? Once she was close enough, Ruby reached out and took a soft hold of his wrist. Stopping him from leaving. “Have you had anything to eat? I’ll make you some grilled cheese.” Her voice sounded strange and hollow to her own ears, but it was the best she could do. She’d be okay. It would be okay. She just needed him not to leave.

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[alex]

For that short moment he hoped that maybe things could be different with Ruby and then all the fears came back in a single moment causing him to pull away from her. No matter how much he didn’t want to, he felt he had to. Now he’d just ruined everything, he’d ruined their friendship. She moved away from him, had he hurt her? Already? Was she upset that he kissed her? Was she upset that he wasn’t anymore? No she couldn’t be, he’d invaded her space, he’d never asked a girl if he could kiss her before, but Ruby was different, he should have asked her, No he shouldn’t have done it period. Plain and simple he wasn’t good for her, he didn’t deserve her. How could he fix this, he had to fix this, but he needed to think, he needed to run, to disappear like he always did. That was how he kept himself from going too far, from doing what he’d just done. Now she was asking him to stay, telling him it was fine, but it wasn’t. “no Ruby don’t cry I’m sorry” He knew this would happen he knew he’d make her cry, he knew that he’d made her cry before.

She grabbed his wrist, she was touching him, why did she have to touch him. He shook his head “no Ruby I don’t want anything to eat” he breathed softly and pulled her into his arms, hugging her to his chest, there was no way that holding her close to him was going to make him like her any less. he rested his face on her head, he pulled her away from him and kissed her forehead, he held her face in his hands. He wanted to kiss her again and suddenly he felt his lips on hers again. He pulled away from her lips and whispered “I don’t want to hurt you Ruby”, it was true, he never wanted to hurt Ruby, he knew that he had, but he also knew he’d hurt her worse if he ever let himself feel what it would be like to be with her. “I can’t hurt you, but I will” he let go of her face and stood dumbly unaware of what to do with himself, what more was to be said I love you, I want to be with you, just give in you prick and he wanted to listen to the voice in his head, it’d make everything so much easier if he just gave in if he kissed her again.

That had never been him though; he’d never been able to make someone happy. Even his own mother thought he was just a letdown. He didn’t want Ruby to feel the same about him, he didn’t want her to stop thinking he was beautiful inside and out. More than anything he just wanted to hold her again, more than anything he just wanted to allow himself to try not to hurt someone he cared about. The only way he knew how was to just not be there, but it was obvious that she wasn’t going to let him leave so easily. For some strange reason she wanted him to stick around, she wanted him to be near her even after he ruined what they had. She said they could forget it, pretend it never happened, but it would just happen again and part of him didn’t want it to be fine, to be forgotten and the other part just really wanted to get away from Ruby. Never in his life had he ever met someone like her and from the second he met her he knew that he’d hurt her, but just like know he could not be around her.

Something about Ruby brought out the best in him and yet he still didn’t believe she brought out enough in him for him to deserve her. Everything was wrong, he’d finally let her see some what of how he felt about her, was he ruining it? Would it have been fine if he just lost himself and kept kissing her? Working his jaw, he thought about his options, then he wondered if he had any options, who was he to think that he was the one who had options after all it was Ruby who’d been betrayed, her friendship. How could they come back from this? Staring at her now, unsure of what had just happened, how much had he screwed up. why wasn’t she angry, why was she offering to forget everything, She should be screaming at him, she should hate him, slap him, kick him, hug him, kiss him anything to let him know where to go from here. They couldn’t forget, they couldn’t go back, it wasn’t going to ever be like it was, but Bradley didn’t know if they way it was, was very healthy either, but it could be so much worse. Maybe it could be better.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] Bradley was confused. That much was clear to Ruby. He was holding her, and then he wasn’t. He was kissing her again, and then he wasn’t. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands, or with himself. Worse though, he didn’t seem to know what to do with Ruby. Standing in front of him like she was, offering for it to all go back to normal. He didn’t seem to want that though. He didn’t want to eat, he didn’t want to leave. It was all Ruby could do to just stand there and let him hold her then kiss her then let her go. She wasn’t sure how to react without upsetting him even more. Guilt was twisting in her stomach. As much as her own feelings were a mess, she hated that she was the cause of all this for him. She hated that he was tightening his jaw over her, instead of smiling. She never ever wanted to be the cause of anything upsetting in his life. She guessed that was a silly fantasy though. Everyone went through things, and she couldn’t expect her relationship with Bradley to always be perfect, as much as she wanted it to be. Ruby bit her lip. Closing her eyes with a heavy sigh. Her patience right now seemed to be wearing thin. She was a patient person, and had even more so with Bradley, but sometimes she just wanted to shake him screaming ‘you’re not a bad person!’ It felt like, at times, that her words went in one ear and out the other. That he didn’t want to have to believe in himself because then he wouldn’t have an excuse. He’d have to stop running away from her, and he’d have to face something real. It was so easy for him just to shrug and blame his behaviour on the fact he’s a bad person, instead of working on the things he didn’t like about himself like everyone else. He just gave up, and you know what? Ruby wasn’t going to let him give up. “If you don’t want to hurt me, then just don’t. It’s not hard to at least try to look after the people you love.” She spoke dryly, a hardness to her tone she wasn’t sure she’d ever used with him before. She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. She was just, this whole situation was taking its toll on her. Taking a sigh, she softened. Opening her eyes to look up at him. Her own dark eyes searching his. She was trying to make up her mind. Trying to choose what to do next. Maybe that was half the problem. They were both using their heads too much, and not listening to anything else. Swallowing hard, she reached up slowly. Pressing her fingertips to his temple, palm resting on his cheek. “I get it.” She said softly, moving her hand a little to stroke his cheek. “You’re confused.” She paused again. Trying to keep her voice from choking up. The blonde could hardly believe herself to be honest. “So I’m going to make it really easy for you. I’m going to kiss you. If you kiss me back- then we will work out what this means and where to go from there. If you don’t.. Well, We’ll go downstairs and play Mario Kart until it’s not awkward anymore and it’s okay again. Okay?” Honestly she didn’t care if it was okay by him or not. She’d made her mind up and nothing was going to deter her. At least this way she’d know for sure if he felt something. Or at least if he was bold enough to act on it. Still staring him in the eyes, Ruby brought her other arm up, Wrapping both her hands around his neck as she moved in to kiss him. Eyes closing as their lips met. It should have been a tentative kiss. A question. However she was already throwing caution to the wind, so she may as well jump in head first. With everything she could muster, she kissed him fiercely. Demanding some sort of answer from him. Her hands were shaking, but she ignored them. Ruby was pouring everything she had into the moment. All the times she had cried over him, wishing he’d call her. All the times she’d felt like he’d lied to her. All the little moments where he’d made her so happy she could burst. He had to know what he did to her, and this was the only way she could figure out how to tell him. There was always too many words between them, yet so much left unsaid. It was about time that at least one of them changed that. And well, if he denied her, if he pulled away. Well she’d deal with the crushing heartbreak of that if and when it happened. At least though, she could say she tried.

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[alex]

Confusion was only the half of it. Here he was fighting what his gut told him, what his upbringing taught him, fighting his own protective nature. In Brad’s mind he was the worst person for Ruby, she needed someone sweet and loveable, just like she was. He hadn’t fit that description since he was a kid and yet here he was considering kissing her, he hadkissed her, nothing had stopped him from doing so, which made him wonder if maybe that meant it was right, but he wouldn’t let himself believe that. Ruby needed her prince charming, her knight in shining armor that she could ride off into the sunset with and live happily ever after with. She thought he could be that, she wondered if maybe they could be together, for fucks sake she actually wanted him. Not his looks, not his popularity, but who he was with all his flaws and as much as he knew she deserved someone without flaws, he knew that person didn’t exist. Somehow he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had too many flaws, she needed the almost perfect type, not the kind that’s gonna runaway when everything gets hard.

He’s not gonna change though, he’s been hardwired by every influence in his life to run from anything scary, anything you think you won’t be good at or even worse what you know you’ll fail at. If your love map is created by the time your six years old and it’s mapped by how your parent’s treat you and each other there was no hope for him was there, he was screwed by the age of six. Granted he wasn’t a psychologist and had never been to one so he wasn’t quite sure what a “love map” was or even that his was screwed up. Knowing that he cared about Ruby wasn’t the issue, he knew he’d do anything for her and that did tend to scare him. That wasn’t why he was pulling away from her, he just didn’t trust himself not to hurt her or even to love her like she should be. He’d seen love fall apart before his eyes, he saw it turn to hate and anger; tears. Childhoods are supposed to be happy they’re supposed to teach you that love is possible, but he didn’t believe in love at least not as an undying emotion that would keep you forever transfixed in this other person. Ruby believed in love and he didn’t want to change that for her, she needed someone who was the same.

Ruby was angry with him, at least he felt she was as her words caused him to step away from her, he never wanted this. Never did he want to hurt or upset anyone less than the small blonde standing in front of him; trying to keep from crying? Brad’s eyes hardened towards her, an expression he’d never really used with her, much like her hard tone had never passed through his ears. Jaw tight, he looked at her with something that could only he explained as malice “I’m not who you want me to be, wow what a revelation” his voice was bitter and callous “that is what I’ve been trying to tell you Ruby, I’m not your white knight” no baby, no Blondie, no honey, not now. Not when he was looking at her this way, not when he was angry with her. Perfection was something Ruby did without effort in the same way Bradley practiced malevolence. Something he found at a very young age that he was good at making people off put by him was as easy as a look. Ruby knew that, she knew his past she knew what he was capable of, she knew he was mean spirited to people often and yet she still told him he was a good person that he was worth her time.

Watching as she softened herself, she spoke like bells moving toward him again. Telling him it was okay, her hand met his face in a way completely different way than he expected. She spoke again, saying that she got that he was confused. He was about to protest saying that he wasn’t confused, but cut him off as she spoke again, his eyes closed in frustration as her words filled the air, shaking his head gently; this is not how today was supposed to end, this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be between them. Feeling her arms wrap around his neck, they felt as if they were on fire, he knew what he had to do; pull away he thought, though her arms felt like they were freezing him in place. Lips touching, their lips felt like an electric explosion and once you touch something electric, you can’t let go. Kissing her back, his hands finding her pulling her closer to him; his body hunched over slightly letting the lightning flow through him like he’d never felt before. Fuck, what happens now.

[ruby]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,305,true] Bradley wasn’t the only one who thought he wasn’t good enough for Ruby. Most of her friends shared his sentiment completely, and had no issue telling Ruby so. That she was wasting her time on him, thinking she can bring him around. She understood where her friends were coming from, she really did. She even appreciated the concern. They were just worried about her. That was what good friends did, and she couldn’t hate her friends for looking out for her. Bradley had let her down enough times in the past for it to be warranted. There were certain things you had no control over though, and being in love was first on that list. She hadn’t asked for feelings for Bradley. She hadn’t gone out looking for them. They had just.. happened. Bam, there they were. Hit her in the face and now she had to deal with them. Shakespeare wasn’t lying when he said love was cupid painted blind. If cupid had of been looking, he’d have seen just how much grief Bradley could cause for Ruby and have given her a break. But no, she was head over heals for him and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She hadn’t been expecting this. Not really. When she had summed up all her gumption to kiss the boy like this she had been half expecting him to gently push her away, and they’d go downstairs and play video games while she died a little inside. But he didn’t. He was pulling her in closer. His lips returning the gesture. He was kissing her back. He was. Kissing. her. back. Ruby felt dizzy. Her mind reeling. What was she supposed to do now? She hadn’t planned on him kissing her back. She hadn’t considered the repercussions of her actions. She wasn’t by nature an implosive person, so this was all knew for her. She allowed him to pull her in. Her small frame seeming to fit perfectly against his. Why was it that it all seemed to fit just so perfectly? Her hands felt like they were made for his. The curve of his neck was the only place her face needed to be. It was just all so perfect, and yet it hurt. She couldn’t understand that. How things could feel so right yet feel so wrong at the same time. Bittersweet just found a new meaning. Ruby wasn’t exactly a cosmic girl but she knew how things worked. She knew the kiss had started out heated and it would probably only build up, not simmer off, if she let it keep going. Thing was, she couldn’t decide which was better. Moving her hands down, she let one wrap around his bicep, while his other moved to his chest to come to rest on his peck. Her lips parting from his for the moment. She took a deep breath before pressing her forehead against his. She didn’t want to want their contact, she just needed a moment to breath and figure out where things went from there. “You... you kissed me back..” she murmured. Her surprise clear in her voice. She couldn’t help but smile. Her eyes roaming over his face. Taking the moment in. She’d imagined something like this before, not that she was ever going to admit that, but nothing she could have imagined could compare to how it felt to be in his arms, kissing him. In fact, she decided she didn’t want to think about things right then. There would be enough time for that in the future. Right then, she just wanted more of the kissing. Her lips found his again. Her actions seemed to be even more intense now she knew he was kissing her back. The fear was gone from it now, leaving passion in its place. It was inevitable really. When something like this builds up inside of you for so long, when it finally happens, it tends to explode. She let the hand on his bicep stay in place, using it to steady her a little (the dizzy feelings were coming back), while the other trailed up his chest, over his shoulder, and down his back. Feeling the shape of his shoulder blade. Slowly exploring places she’d never had the guts to touch before. The blonde was surprised at her own boldness, but she was determined now. Determined not to chicken out, not to let Brad run off on her. Determined to kiss him until they’d both had enough. Only she was starting to think that was impossible. She was finding the heady feeling of kissing him to be rather addictive, and not something she wanted to give up quickly. It was all she could do to hope that he was feeling the same way- that he wouldn’t want to stop kissing her.

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[alex]

Nothing in Brad’s life had ever been so perfect and wrong at the same time; that perfect imperfection. He’d thought all this time if he ever allowed himself to let his lips touch Ruby’s everything would turn to ash and just like that she be gone in the wind. Suddenly he was standing there with her in his arms kissing her, holding her and nothing happened, she was still there fitting in his arms as if they were made for her. Never being one for believing in soul mates or fate, he felt as if he should reconsider made things were meant to happen. That maybe he had a chance to be happy, maybe he had a chance to make something pure. Many times before he felt like King Midas, only in his case everything he touched withered and died. So maybe just this once he’d allow himself to believe the lies she whispered in his ear so many times before. He’d allow himself a small simple moment of happiness. Impractical happiness that couldn’t last, but nothing even his own pessimism could ruin this right now. He was getting what he never knew he wanted without even realizing it.

Something was different; he could feel it as if someone hit him over the head with it. A weight lifted from his chest, how could something feel so freeing and condemning at the same time. Nothing would be the same between them and notion that both terrified and relieved him. Everything could go wrong, life experience right, you aren’t just supposed to forget that are you? On the other hand, everything could go perfectly, if he couldn’t make it work with her, he’d never make it work with anyone. All this was too confusing, riveting, wrong, right and exciting. His brain screamed at him to stop, to stop all of this you’ll never make her happy, you’ll never be good enough no matter how hard he tried; she’d end up disappointed. Everyone tells you to follow your heart though right? and all his was saying was never let her go, for nothing, for everything don’t you dare let her go boy. right now Bradley wanted to listen to that useless muscle in his chest. A feeling he’d never felt before. Rather a feeling he’d never allowed himself to feel before, but somehow he didn’t think he’d ever feel it so strongly. He never expected to feel it like this; terrified, but okay with it, embracing it even.

Feeling her pull away from him, his stomach dropped slightly. Resting her forehead against his calmed him only slightly, she’d changed her mind, please don’t change your mind he thought to himself feeling raw and exposed, as if she ripped off his skin to see right into his every hope and dream. Why’d he allow himself to hope for anything? Hearing her voice in his ears slowed his heart beat, she was surprised? He hadn’t exactly given her any reason not to be of course, but it shocked him that she didn’t realize what she was to him. A smile spread across his face “how could I not” he whispered, wanting to tell her that she was the one he’d been waiting for, that he knew the moment he met her that he was going to lose his mind over her. She was the one he’d take a leap of faith for, the only girl that truly terrified him to his core. The girl that’s going to break his heart, but right now he didn’t mind as long as she kissed him again; she could rip him to shreds and he’d still be happy that he let her.

She’d found his lips again and the twisting feeling in his gut subsided, everything was alright. It felt unreal, supersonic perfection. It felt as if his while body was pulsing with his heart beat, he heard it pounding in his ears like drums. Her hands traced his body leaving behind trails of scorched skin, her touch was on fire. His hands resting comfortably in the small of her back slid down to her legs as he lifted her off the ground, a smile spread across his face, yet he couldn’t pull himself away from her lips. This feeling would never last forever if he was right about everything, and yet he found himself wanting it too, he found himself hoping he was wrong, yet another feeling that was new to him. Bradley loved being right, he often was in some skewed way; he was all about self fulfilling prophecies. Here he was for once fighting his own prediction, hoping he was wrong about her breaking his heart or him breaking his own, about everything coming to an end in one catastrophic event. No he wanted this to go on forever, even if he knew that remaining entangled in her room was highly unpractical. Carrying her over to her bed he laid her down gentling never once breaking his lips from hers.