all been said before [mimi]

[elsie]

Some people were just generally displeasing creatures, even if they didn’t mean to be. Take Wesley, for instance, the man she had met carrying coffee and whiskey in the grocery store. She probably should have known from the beginning that when a person had alcohol and coffee as their only two grocery items, they probably didn’t make the best decisions in the world. Unfortunately, Elsie liked to believe the best in people and not pass judgements right away. She thought it was only fair that she at least gave them a chance. And boy, had she given Wesley a chance.

That wasn’t to say he was a bad person-- far from it-- he was just terrible at giving eighteen year old girls advice. Well, she was almost nineteen, but Wesley didn’t seem to care about that. He still thought she was ten. What ten year old had breasts as nicely formed as hers? She honestly didn’t know what the man thought. But yes, he’d been lousy at giving her advice about how to woo Brodie. Brodie was a very complicated, stubborn man who also probably thought of her as a child. She wasn’t a child and she resented that everyone treated her like they did.

Sighing she ran a hand through her dirty blonde waves and paced in front of her locker. She’d been sitting there for the past hour, finishing up her French homework. She had an extreme dislike for doing her homework at home and always did it at school before going back to said home. She was quick and bright, so it didn’t usually take her long. Looking down at the assignment, she found herself wondering if Ms. Riter was still there for the day. She’d remembered seeing a large stack of papers sitting evilly on the corner of the woman’s desk during third period and knew how much the teacher hated marking. For that matter, Elsie was pretty convinced all teachers hated it.

She put her textbooks away, grabbed her shoulder bag, shut her locker, and was on her way. She peaked her head around the doorframe when she finally reached the desired classroom and found a smile making it’s way onto her face when she found the vertically challenged teacher, drowning in paperwork.

”Ms. Riter, I’m glad you’re still here,” Elsie said in her usual chipper tone. She wandered in without invitation and stood in front of the woman’s desk. ”First of all, here’s today’s assignment. Might as well hand it in so it’s out of my mind,” she shrugged and placed the paper on the only bare corner of Ms. Riter’s desk. ”Secondly, I must admit I have a bit of ulterior motive. See, I met this guy in a grocery store who had whiskey and coffee and looked kind of old, so I thought I should ask him about Brodie. He didn’t know Brodie, of course, but I know Brodie and that’s the important part. Brodie, by the way, is this guy I met on a bus who I followed home and, my God, he is the most handsome creature I’ve ever seen, but thinks I’m just this stupid little kid. So this Wesley guy looked all old and I tried asking him how I could woo the other guy, but he wasn’t much help and I was just wondering if you have any advice?” she rambled.

words: 570 - tagged: mimi - outfit: here - notes: nom nom nom

[mimiriter]

There were an abundance of things that Mimi would have preferred to do other than marking papers. Shooting herself was somewhere on the list, along with having a threesome with Marco and his pregnant wife while being repeatedly hit in the head with a hammer. Oh, and then there was being thrown into the ocean, which she was afraid of. And those were just some of the few very exaggerated things that had gone through her head as a method of procrastination from the pile of ungraded French compositions from her advanced placement class sitting on the edge of her desk.

This job, as she had come to realize, was such a catch-22. Really, the chorus of groans was music to her ears when she gave out assignments- of course, as the year progressed those had pretty much dispersed to quiet sighs, but she’d take what she could get. She wasn’t a mean teacher, no. What she lacked in mercy as far as coursework went, she gained back in being personable with the students. She made her classes enjoyable and taught her older classes how to say various dirty words in French and it was relatively glorious. But she also liked seeing how much they could handle at any given moment. Unfortunately, that always came to bite her in the ass once the work was handed back in and she had a lot to grade. Unfortunately.

It paid off as far as her students went. She was pretty sure the school board was looking over some of her unorthodox methods and ridiculous antics because the overall grades had increased, as well as the level of enrollment for her class the following year. Mimi had no problem being smug about that fact, either. She had ‘swagger’ and she liked to show it off whenever the situation suited. But that didn’t mean she found grading at all enjoyable. She really needed an assistant to come in and grade for her. Yeah, that was it.

Maybe she’d go hire a hot French guy to do it. That seemed like a great plan, really.

Mimi heard a voice, suddenly, and she looked up, momentarily confused as to whether or not she was happy for the distraction. She liked Elsie, certainly- she only really disliked students who didn’t do their work and were just overall shitheads. Elsie was not a shithead. She was, however, abrupt and talkative and while Mimi was kind of the same way, this particular instance took her off guard and it took her a second to catch up. She wondered for a moment if this was how people felt when she just barged in and started talking on about God knew what without even greeting them otherwise. Huh.

It finally occurred to her what Elsie was asking and she nodded slowly, cocking an eyebrow. Wouldn’t be the first time a student had come to her for relationship advice, even though she probably wasn’t the best influence, but she enjoyed giving it all the same so she didn’t mind. ”Huh,” she started, giving a slow nod to signify that she understood, ”Hold on.”

She was, in fact, happy for the distraction. Mimi slowly stood out of her chair and crossed the room to close the door- she wasn’t sure where this conversation was going to go, but Elsie was older and that made her feel less like she had to hold back with whatever advice she was about to crank out. ”Okay, first off,” she began, settling herself back into her chair, ”Is this Wesley guy a cowboy? Because I know a cowboy Wesley who would probably not know what to tell you, yeah.” She gave a nod, then continued, ”How old are we talking as far as this Brodie kid is? Like… Twenty? Or…” Cocking an eyebrow, she silenced, waiting for further details.

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[elsie]

Was it even right for her to be asking her teacher for relationship advice? She didn’t see why not. Some of the things that Ms. Riter had taught them in class probably weren’t even allowed, anyways-- half the reason Elsie loved the older woman-- so she figured that her teacher wouldn’t be against giving out advice. Besides, it wasn’t like Ms. Riter hated Elsie-- at least not that she was aware of-- and she kind of hoped that lack of hate would give her a bit of an edge in convincing the woman to help her student. Then again, she didn’t really give Wesley the option of hot helping her, did she? But she didn’t know Wesley so she didn’t feel weird pestering him. Not that she felt weird pestering Ms. Riter, but she didn’t want the teacher getting annoyed with her and then start failing her. That would be bad, though uncharacteristic for the French teacher.

One of her favourite things about her French teacher was that she never looked at Elsie like she didn’t grasp all that the young blonde was saying. Some people sort of gaze her that glazed eye look that told her they were only partially understanding what she was saying, and though Elsie was a generally could natured girl, the look made her want to smack the stupid off their face. When Ms. Riter closed the door, Elsie smiled happily and sat on the top of one of the desks in front of the larger desk of the teacher. She crossed her legs and tried not to fidget, though it was a terrible habit of hers that she had yet to cure.

She paused for a moment, her face scrunched up in thought, and then a new expression danced across her face. Her eyebrows rose and her eyes widened, a look of realisation spreading around. ”Now that I think about it, yeah! At least, he sounded like he could be one. Do real cowboys actually exist anymore, other than in the movies? If they do then yes, Wesley is definitely a cowboy,” she said with a nod, and then couldn’t hold back a small giggle. Ha. She had met a real life cowboy buying whiskey and coffee in a grocery store in Capeside. The idea in itself seemed unlikely, yet here it had happened. ”He didn’t really know what to tell me. He told me that when older men date younger women, it’s generally because they like what they see. I also told him that I was going to make Brodie cookies because I kind of ate all the ones that were at his house, and Wesley said that was a good way to help win someone over. Like that old saying, y’know? A way to a man’s hurt is through his stomach,” she said with a definite nod.

Elsie pursed her lips out slightly and looked up at the ceiling. ”Weellll,” she said, dragging out the word, ”I wouldn’t exactly say that kid is the right term for him. He’s....twenty-five,” she admitted. That wasn’t that much older than her, was it? It wasn’t like she was trying to destroy the marriage of some thirty-seven year old man with two kids. But she supposed that since she wasn’t even twenty yet, the small age difference just seemed more pronounced. ”And I mean, it’s not that bad because I’ll be nineteen in a month. He just thinks I’m this kid because I’m still in high school, but I lost a year cause I went to Africa through my church to help build houses and dig wells for eight months which didn’t really leave room for school. So technically I shouldn’t be in high school anymore and he shouldn’t even take that into consideration. Nonetheless, he seemed kind of off-put by my age and really my general presence, specifically when I was speaking too much, but it wasn’t like he left me in the gutter to die.”

She felt like that was an odd statement which needed clarification. ”See, I was at this party where everyone but me was drinking, so my ride couldn’t drive me home, so I went to take the bus. The only problem was that I’ve never really taken the bus before, so I just sort of grabbed the first one, and that’s where I met Brodie. But it was during that really, really horrific rainstorm and the bus was sliding, even swaying in the winds, so when he got off I sort of followed him without thinking about it. And then I went with him to his apartment-- his own choice, too-- and he was about to call a cab but then the power and the phones cut out. He doesn’t have his license so he couldn’t drive me, and even then the roads were terrible and it was really late at night. He lent me a shirt to sleep in and he didn’t even make me sleep on the couch; he gave up his bed without even asking which leads me to believe that he doesn’t dislike me as much as he pretended to, otherwise he would’ve made me be all wet on his couch.” She wasn’t sure if any of that made any sense to someone that wasn’t her, but that was a usual thing for Elsie.

words: 910 - tagged: mimi - outfit: here - notes: nom nom nom

[mimiriter]

If Mimi were to enter into a talking competition (God forbid such a thing really exist), she was pretty sure that there were very few people who would actually be able to beat her. Her mind worked very quickly and she didn’t really have a filter, so most of what popped into her head seemed to spew right out of her mouth. Shamelessly. Elsie, however, could give her a run for her money. Really. She had met her match with Elsie Porter. But luckily it wasn’t a competition so Mimi had no reason to try to out talk her, only silently question the existence of others who used their vocal cords as often as she did. It wasn’t like she had never thought that someone talked too much before. But most of the time, they didn’t talk as much as she did and she just wanted them to shut up because they were stupid. Then again, Mimi thought most people were stupid. She didn’t hate people as much as she let off but she did think the majority of them would function better in society if they just went through their day with duct tape over their mouth. Elsie wasn’t one of those people, though. There was something about the younger woman that fascinated Mimi. She wasn’t a slacking idiot like some of the other students, and she had this sort of innocence about her that she was a little determined to ruin (but not that much, she wasn’t totally heartless). So no, Mimi didn’t dislike Elsie at all. She was merely… Curious.

A look of amusement swept over her as she realized that Elsie was indeed talking about the Wesley she knew. Letting out a low chuckle, Mimi rolled her eyes slightly. ”Yeah, he wouldn’t be able to help you with that. Poor guy. But I find comfort in the fact that he owns spurs and assless chaps- I don’t want to let you know how I know that, although I think you’re smart enough to infer. Anyways, he was right with the whole cookies thing. I can’t cook for my life so I have to compensate with a lot of sex. So just… You know. Bake him cookies, and maybe brownies in addition. And ask him if he’d like to share with you. And ask him if he has milk. Like, actual milk. And then after ask for more milk, and when he gets up to get the milk, be like, ‘no, the milk in your pants.’ He’ll be all ‘what?’ and then just give him a suggestive smirk. Bam.” She chuckled a little bit, then shook her head. ”No. Only a last resort tactic. Although it did work for me once. That didn’t last long.”

Mimi wasn’t the kind of person who really took age into consideration. Usually, if they looked above age and struck up a conversation, she’d be her usual self. She’d been a little bit more conscious ever since she started teaching (because how awkward would that be, really) but she didn’t really go asking how old the guy was if he looked like he was at least out of college. It wasn’t like she was about to date a twenty-five year old, but relationships weren’t her thing, anyways. But she knew that when someone was younger, age mattered more. When she was in High School, she never wanted to date down, only up (hence why she spent so much time trying to charm her history teacher- it didn’t work, by the way), but she found it mattered less and less the more she aged. Not that she was super old, but nevertheless. ”Okay. So the general rule is half your age plus seven, for the youngest you can date. So if he’s twenty-five, that’s… nineteen and a half, right? You’re almost there. He probably feels a little weird about it. The trick is to convince him into just… Thinking you’re older. Because if he keeps looking at you like this High School student, then chances are he won’t want to engage in any sort of relationship. So, you should start with trying to get him to view you as more mature.”

Her eyebrows quipped a little as Elsie dived into the tale of how she met this Brodie fellow, slowly nodding. When she finished, Mimi took a moment to slowly shake her head. ”I think you need to grasp the concept of stranger danger,” she said with a soft sigh, shifting so she was sitting up a little bit straighter. ”So you’re interested in dating this Brodie fellow, correct? Not just engaging in some sort of sexual relationship, or just something platonic? And you want my advice on how to… What, exactly?”

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[elsie]

So Elsie’s teacher just admitted to knowing a guy who owned assless chaps because she probably had sex with him. Was it bad that the only thing she was thinking of was how well they managed to do that with such the height difference? She supposed once you went horizontal it wasn’t that much of an issue. But then she also realised that she didn’t want to think about her French teacher having sex with a guy in spurs and assless chaps. She shook her head to remove the imagine from her mind and merely laughed. ”Maybe I should sort of do both? You know they have those cookie bar things that are pretty much a mix between a brownie and a cookie. My grandma taught me how to bake them when I was a kid. If I didn’t have such a fast metabolism and didn’t take up running, I’m pretty sure I’d be ten feet fat right now,” she said with a nod. It was true. The girl could eat, it was just a fact. Elsie titled her head to the side slightly. ”Why would he have milk in his pants? That’d be rather uncomfortable,” she said, shaking her head. ”Unless, like, he spilt the milk while attempting to dip his cookies. But then that’s just a tad bit pathetic. I could offer to clean it up? Yes, yes, that would get him out of his pants. But then that leads to another problem altogether,” she sighed.

Elsie didn’t care about age. She only cared about the age difference because she knew that Brodie, and inevitably her parents, would care about the age difference. To her, most of the boys her own age were too immature and she didn’t feel like dealing with them long term anymore. And while Brodie did have the same sort of immaturity that boys would never get rid of, he definitely wasn’t like the rest of the guys she went to high school with. And that body was definitely that of a man. She frowned slightly. ”See, I hate that rule. Mostly just because I don’t want to have to wait half a year before I start dating him. I want to date him. Now. He doesn’t get a say in it.” Wait, that wasn’t right, was it? Well damn, she didn’t care. She was going to seduce him, dammit! Yes, innocent little Elsie Porter was going to try and seduce a grown man. Somehow she wondered if she had fallen and hit her head and just forgot about it. ”I guess convincing him won’t be too hard. I mean, I’m smart, I have a study job, I’m mature, I’m responsible, I certainly look like I could be in my early twenties. Or at least his eyes scanning my legs when I was wearing just his t-shirt told me that much.” Was that right? ”Or that he at least finds me alluring to some extent.” Yes, that seemed more right. But it was nice to know by that slightly ravenous look in his eyes that he didn’t find her repulsing.

”Why does everyone keep telling me that?” she asked, annoyed, frustrated, and confused. ”I grasp the concept of it, I just like to believe the good in people, rather than go around assuming everyone is an axe murderer. And I was right, wasn’t I? He didn’t hurt me. In fact, he was quite the gentleman, despite his outwardly grumpy appearances. And I mean, it was either go home with him or stay outside in a horrible storm, completely lost with no real way of getting home. At least I was near other people in the apartment and they could hear my screams. I like to believe I’d be in much more danger if I just wandered around outside all night,” she reasoned. And she had been right, so she didn’t see why people were so concerned with her talking to strangers. Nothing bad had happened to her yet. Elsie’s eyes widened at the mention of a sexual relationship. ”Woah, woah, hold on, I think you might be jumping ahead a bit. I mean, yeah, he is fine but....well...I’m kind of, you know, a virgin,” she said, whispering the last word as if it were some sort of embarrassing secret. ”Which is part of the problem because the guy is almost twenty-six and with a body like that, you know he’s experienced in that department, and I’m not. And if we were to start dating, I don’t know how to go about with that. Do I tell him? Do I not tell him? If I tell him and he freaks out, what do I do? If I don’t tell him and I’m terrible because it’s my first time but he doesn’t know that and decides he doesn’t want to date me because I’m not up to his level, then what? And have you ever dated teenagers? They’re insanely easy to seduce. You just give him a smile and a wink and they’re putty in your hands. Never have I tried to seduce a grown man but I think it would be a tad more difficult.”

words: 892 - tagged: mimi - outfit: here - notes: blahpost D: